Zombie Jimmy Hoffa Emerges From South Fargo Sinkhole

July 5th, 2016 | by Nick

Cell phone photograph of Zombie Jimmy Hoffa inside the sinkhole!

Fargo, ND – After many years of wondering, pontificating and scouring its whereabouts, the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body has finally revealed itself. Shortly after a gaping sinkhole opened up on 9th avenue and 42nd Street south, the zombified body of the notedly-vanished former Teamster’s Union President slowly emerged.

Seen via cell phone footage: “No employer really accepts a union,” said Zombie Hoffa from inside what is and has apparently been his grave for over 40 years. “People have a right to a fair day’s wage for a fair day’s work.” 

Hoffa continued to blather on and on about unions and fairness until a conspicuously nearby Speaker Of The House Paul Ryan kicked him back into the hole.

It is believed that this F-M area “sinkhole” has been Hoffa’s government witness protection facility since his disappearance in 1975.

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