Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

June 25th, 2014 | by Bill Burns

bar_patronThere she was.  Right there in the corner.  I knew I knew her from somewhere.  Was she supposed to be there on purpose?  Did god intend for us to meet at this exact moment?  Was this all planned?

My mind was racing.

I suppose I should go talk to her.  Nah.  Maybe after another drink.  Yea, keep telling yourself that pal.

Now i’m sweating.

What if I smell?  I can’t go talk to her if I smell.  I’d blow it.

Alright, calm.  I can do this.  I got up from my chair and slowly made my way over.

My heart was racing!  Right as the light hit her face……No!  This couldn’t be!  It was then that I had realized it was the same woman who gave me herpes a couple years back.

I immediately hung a right and out the door I went.

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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.