West Fargo, ND – What was once the territory of the Gargantuan Arctic Hare is now the coveted land of homebuyers and builders residing in points West. This truth was revealed to excavators during a foundation dig in what is now known as Eaglewood.
Homebuilders Cheirly and Grigg Milkshifter purchased land there with the intention to build. Little did they know what lied beneath tied their plot to the paleolithic era. The backhoe blade carved out a prized archaeological find: A five-foot long, 287-pound Gargantuan Arctic Hare femur that their dog Beavis is infatuated with.
The Milkshifters now know those prehistoric remnants remain. When confronted by the Archaeological Survey Society, or ASS as they are more commonly known, Grigg Milkshifter declared eminent domain over this now sacret plot of land.
“Those ASS people told me I had to leave here ‘n sell. I said nope sir we’re letting Beavis sniff around, see what he finds. ASS can shove it up their ass. Maybe he’ll dig up a giant squirrel pelvis next.”
So if you’re looking to settle down in the far western reaches of town, know that you’re disrupting what is likely a big wooly rabbit mass grave.
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