Tag Archives: 3-d printer

Google’s New 3-D Printer Can Print An Edible Roasted Turkey

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If eating is believing, then try this!

Turkeyfoot, PA – Leave it to Google to take 3-D printing to the next level.

After some Germans were able to first print edible gummy bears with a 3-D printer, Google has now perfected the ability to 3-D print a ready-to-eat, hot, roasted turkey, just like the one grandma used to pull out of the oven for Thanksgiving.

University of Pennsylvania’s Senior Fellow, Dr. Walter Vonderpluke has been heading up the turkey testing for Google’s 3-D Printing Division: “In my opinion, this Google turkey is very succulent and quite delectable. In a word, ambrosia! To be honest, I cannot believe it was printed with a 3-D printer.”

For those who already own a 3-D printer, simply download the free Google Turkey App and hit the Start button. You and your family will have a beautiful, ready-to-carve, 16 pound Thanksgiving turkey in about 18 minutes.

For those who do not already own a 3-D printer, Santa has been notified.

Area Man 3-D Prints Lusty, Dead-Eyed Carpool Lane Passenger

Officer poses with “Moana”

Fargo, ND—The good ol’ high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lane. It’s what all solo drivers long for during that treacherous afternoon commute. Do you ever wish you could drive freely down the wide-open carpool lane during rush hour traffic instead of pulling out your eyeballs and putting them back in their sockets as you sit there aging ungracefully during a traffic jam? Well, much to the chagrin of the Fargo Police Department, one area man made that wish come true with the use of a 3-D printer.

Ealio Sappsinbush, 34, was cited late yesterday afternoon for operating on an excluded byway when an officer noticed the cold, blank stare of a not unattractive mannequin in his front passenger seat. Sappsinbush stated that yes, the mannequin was in fact not an actual person, but a 3-D printed representation of his ex-girlfriend Moana. “I take Moana with me everywhere. Sometimes she’s tied up in the trunk; other times she sits shotgun while I speed down the HOV lane. It is with Moana whom I travel. Her empty, callous expression by my side always.”

Officers were not as impressed with his use of a fake carpool lane passenger as they were with his 3-D printed rendering of his ex. “The thoughtfulness and detail that the perp used to construct his HOV passenger is actually pretty impressive,” said officer Xanver McLorg. “After a few minutes of peering longingly into Moana’s seductive gaze, I felt like giving myself to her instead giving them a citation.”

Sappsinbush was forced to turn his beloved Moana over to police in addition to paying the $150 ticket.