Tag Archives: convention

Delegate To Sue Party Convention Because Nobody Would Caucus With Her

If nobody wants to caucus with me, I will bring you down.

If nobody wants to caucus with me, I’ll bring you down.

Bismarck, ND – Dorothea Toppen went to the 2016 North Dakota Democrat Convention wanting to caucus but no one would caucus with her.

So, Dorothea Toppen is planning on filing a lawsuit against the North Dakota Democrat Party for 1. non-inclusion, 2. disrespect, and 3. emotional damages.

The plaintiff also says that someone looking a lot like Donald Trump meanly grabbed her by the arm and pushed and pulled her in a direction she did not want to go.

So, Dorothea Toppen is also considering filing a secondary lawsuit against Donald Trump for 1. strong-arming, 2. disrespect, and 3. emotional damages.

Moral of the story: When you go to your political party’s convention wanting to caucus, you can sue their ass if nobody wants to caucus with you.

Psychic Convention To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

As you probably know, Psychic Convention to be held in Fargo.

Fargo hosting Psychic Convention!

Fargo, ND – As you’ve probably seen in your crystal ball, Fargo will be hosting the next International Psychic Convention.

Amateur and professional psychics from almost every corner of the globe will soon be descending upon Fargo.

The specifics of this special commingling congregation such as the date, time, and place are not being announced since all true psychics do not need to be told this most basic information.

Ms. Shirley MacLaine is scheduled to be the main keynote speaker along with other notables such as: John Edward, Uri Geller, and Miss Cleo. Deceased psychic Edgar Cayce who died in 1945 is also expected to make his presence and wishes known during the Midnight Reincarnation Incantation.

Ghost Convention To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

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Ghost convention coming to Fargo!

Fargo, ND – Living organizers of the International Ghost Convention have just announced that the next International Ghost Convention will be held in Fargo, North Dakota on Monday night, October 31st, or as most spiritual beings call it: Halloween.

Because of the large number of ghastly ghosts expected to attend, the Fargodome has been selected to be the haunted hang-out to house all these haughty hobgoblins.

Casper the friendly ghost, along with his uncles, the Ghostly Trio, have been asked to emcee this eerie event.

This annual convening of ghosts will officially begin at eight o’clock (post meridiem) and will gho until just before sunrise on Saturday morning, November 1st, when all the attendees will be heading back to their spirit world.

Fargodome staffers will need time on Saturday morning to clean up and set up for the NDSU football game in which the Bizon will be hosting the feral jackrabbits from South Dakota State University.

Update: Any brave trick-or-treaters are invited to come and join the fun. This would be a great chance to see the ghost version of the Fargo Airshow!

Fargo Facing Severe Clown Shortage

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Bozo says the only thing funny about a shortage of clowns is the clowns.

Fargo, ND – While our country is experiencing a national clown shortage, Fargo’s clown shortage is in the severe-to-extreme category. Circus folk have been warning for years that a clown shortage was looming on the horizon but everyone just laughed it off as a joke. Now it seems like it’s just as hard to find a good clown as it is to find an honest politician.

Uncle Peepers, who’s the president of Clown College, says this unprecedented shortage is the result of a perfect storm. He explains: “Sadly, as older clowns fade away, we aren’t seeing a lot of new clowns to replace them. Some clowns have retired to the Funny Farm. Many are making phone calls from their horizontal phone booth. And others, like Al Franken, are jumping ship and going into politics.”

Dr. Funny Bones, who heads up Clowns International Association (CIA), concurs with Uncle Peepers. Dr. Funny Bones believes there’s been a declining interest in clowning because of new regulations that have resulted in much higher standards for the jokesters. “Clowning just isn’t cool anymore. Once the governments started getting involved, it took most of the fun out of it” says Dr. Funny Bones.

To deal with Fargo’s severe shortage of clowns, local leaders want to host a Clown Convention this summer in Island Park. George Looney, Fargo’s Director of Fun & Games, came up with the conventional idea as a way to possibly recruit a clown or two to choose Fargo as their home. Mr. Looney says that quite a few nationally known clowns have shown an interest in attending, including: Bozo, Cupcake, Dimples, Bubbles, Zero, Smiley, Sparkles, Mr. Whiskers, Lulu, Sunshine, Chuckles, Polka Dot, Ruffles, Jazzy, and Bingo.

If you have a good idea for how Fargo can attract more clowns to the area, please contact the Fargo City Commission, so they can discuss this important subject at an upcoming meeting.