Tag Archives: corporation

Local Fargo Filmmaker Has A Big Hit With His New Film “Gristly Nights”

Gristly Nights voted #1 movie at many film fests.

Fargo, ND – A young and upcoming filmmaker from Fargo has boldly announced his presence in the film-making world with a #1 hit at the box office.

Dicky “Dick” Glanders is his name and Gristly Nights is his hot new movie.

Gristly Nights is being nominated for many awards including best new movie and best new director.

The plot follows a corporate executive who undergoes profound changes during a major mid-life crisis.

Movie critic Bopp Zanff says of Gristly Nights: “If this movie is not in your Top Ten, you are a schmuck. This movie will change the world. I give Dicky’s new movie 6 Stars!”

Here Is The Winner Of Our Annual Picture Of The Year Contest

FMO’s winning picture of the year! Semi Truckin’ by Tadd Wray of Sabin MN

West Fargo, ND – Amid mucho buzz and speculation, the winner of the FM Observer’s prestigious Picture Of The Year award was unveiled in the fabulous banquet room at our corporate headquarters.

Mr. Tadd Wray of rural Sabin, MN took home the top honors with his picture entitled Semi Truckin’.

Out of the thousands of pictures submitted to our Picture Of The Year department, this one really seemed to speak to the judges.

Tadd Wray: “I am truly humbled by this glorious win. Is there some sort of prize money that I get for winning?”

If you submitted a picture which did not win, and would like it back, please send us $50 for shipping and handling, along with your mailing information and perhaps a short paragraph about yourself.

Fargo Woman Fired From Her Good Job For Having A Bad Hair Day

Do you think it’s OK to fire someone simply for having a bad hair day?

Fargo, ND – A woman showing up for work at Precision Geometrix Corporation in Fargo was fired on the spot for having an extremely bad hair day.

It is not known whether Ms. Baria Ridderhoff intentionally had her hair looking unusually crazy or if it was just a terribly fortuitous fluke.

From an outside observer’s standpoint (such as her boss), it was deemed to be “bad enough” to ask Baria to immediately pack up her personal belongings and head straight for the exit.

UPDATE: In an attempt to lawyer-up, Ms. Ridderhoff was seen headed to the hairport to allegedly go discuss her case with attorney Michael Avenatti in Newport Beach, California. As she boarded the haircraft, she gave the thumbs-up sign as her wild hair blew wildly in the wind.

Ironically, all of the letters in “Baria Ridderhoff” can somehow be blown around to spell: Fired For Bad Hair!

FMO Hiring Senior Retro-Tech Position To Service All Our Older Equipment

Knowledge of older equipment is a plus.

Eastern West Fargo, in Southeastern North Dakota – The FM Observer is proud to announce that we are interested in hiring a Senior Retro-Tech to our staff of Information Technologists.

Candidates must be willing to work in a slow-paced environment and be able to handle extreme pressure well.

Must be willing and able to work days and nights and also weekends and holidays for little or no compensation.

You should be able to take things apart and then put them back together.

Successful applicants would be expected to respectfully stand at attention with hand on heart during the national anthem and our daily pledge of allegiance.

Willingness to participant in office sports betting pools and bring in cookies would be a big plus.

Knowledge of all older types of retro-equipment which has a lot of knobs and buttons would be helpful since that it pretty much your main responsibility.

Candidate should be able to zoom in and zoom out when needed.

Language skills preferably would include English and Spanish as a first or second language, profanity, and also a basic understanding of office notes written in Tamil.

Must be willing to relocate if we ever decide to move or take the entire company on an “extended vacation” due to Global Cooling or problems with local law enforcement.

We are looking for a team player who is willing to be proactive and approachable.

You should be able to set positive goals that are achievable.

Having good time management skills is welcome as is being able to quickly respond to an emergency situation of any kind.

We are looking for someone who can prioritize many tasks as to their urgency and importance, re-think existing processes, educate yourself on the latest retro-technology, and ask questions when the answers may not be right in front of you.

If you feel your particular skill set is what the FM Observer is looking for, print multiple copies of your one-page resume in Tamil (using Google Translate if needed), and put one copy in each of our In-Box folders on our desks when we’re out to lunch (which is pretty much the whole day).

Vasco Corporation Now Hiring Part-Time Workers To Test Wetchops

Imagine getting paid to do something you really enjoy!

West Fargo, ND – Please answer the following questions honestly:

Are you a motivated person who is looking for something better to focus your energy on? (Yes, No)

Do you feel that up until this point in your life that your potential has mostly remained latent? (Yes, No)

Has your self esteem taken a blow to the mid-section because you’ve gotten screwed over in life’s lottery? (Yes, No)

Would you like to become an associate with one of the top companies in its category? (Yes, Yes!)

How would you feel about earning benefits and vacation time for almost doing nothing? (Great, Really Great!)

Why not consider getting a part-time job testing wetchops at the Vasco Corporation?!

Listen to what others are saying about the job you could have:

Julian Calder: Once I started working at Vasco, things in my life really started turning around.

Bianca Pinto: I wouldn’t trade my wetchop testing job here at Vasco Corp for two tickets to a Vikings game!

Yandarbi Sheripov: If you are looking for a great job, testing wetchops at Vasco is really a great job.

Rong Dewei Ni: Me love testing wetchops. Vasco Corporation really really nice company to me.

Privan Zrinko: I tell you what. Vasco wetchops are the best ever. Testing them is like play instead of work.

Viresh Hummelink: When I first heard about this job, methought it maybe sucked, but I was very very wrong.