Tag Archives: crap

Moorhead Hoarder Finds Dead Husband Buried Under Tons Of Junk

I thought maby my husband had left me until I found him buried underneath some piles of things I wanted to hold on to for awhile.

Moorhead, MN – The Department of Health and Human Services is reporting that a woman who wishes to remain anonymous recently found her deceased husband under some of her belongings.

Agnes Elhart of 1313 Hoarder Drive in Moorhead now wonders “why would Clarence have been crawling around underneath my newspaper collection?”

Agnes further ponders: “Maby he was trying to hide from me after that one argument we had about what items to perhaps purge?”

A hoarder specialist working the case sadly wrote: “It is more likely that some of the mountainous pile of endless crap fell on the poor guy and ol’ Clarence was buried alive, until he wasn’t.”

West Fargo Lagoon Workers Tired Of Taking Crap From Everyone

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Pictured: An unintentionally hilarious sign at the waste stabilization pond

West Fargo, ND – Waste Stabilization Pond Foreman Chlaff Peenisackle has seen it all come through. Severed limbs, sea monkey colonies, the physical manifestation of shame from the night before. These are only a few of what atrocities find their way into West Fargo’s lagoon. But what Peenisackle dislikes the most is taking crap from the public.

“We’re all real sick of taking your crap,” says Peenisackle, probably in reference to all the complaints raised over the foul stench emanating from his lagoon. “All you people do is give us crap, man. We’re doing all we can here. You can flush all the drugs and muscle tendon you want down the toilet–I don’t care–but please, stop giving us so much crap (about the smell).”

On a windy day, you can really tell that there’s a lot of crap being put up with over there. A noxious odor wafts its way into your nose, and then the crap (likely referring to complaints) starts to roll in.

“All it takes is a little sun and some breeze, then here comes the crap,” says Waste Stabilization Specialist Doadie Humpsnift. 

Lagoon workers are imploring the fine folks of Fargo and points West: please stop giving them crap (presumably, about the odor).