Tag Archives: dakota

Fargo’s Dr. Hendassa Calling It Quits After 150 Years Of Service

“After 150 years of practicing medicine and I am still learning.” –Dr. Frank Hendassa

Fargo, ND – Fargo’s own Dr. Frank Hendassa has decided to finally retire after practicing medicine for 150 years.

Dr. Hendassa opened the original Dakota Clinic out of a covered wagon back in the year 1867, the same year that Nebraska became the 37th state.

This was the year that antiseptic surgery and mouthwash were discovered by Joseph Listerine.

Dr. Hendassa did it all back then, doing surgery, internal medicine, and even delivering babies one whose name was Frank Lloyd Wright.

Later in his career at about the 100 year point back in 1967 Frank decided to specialize in keeping his patients healthy and looking young and fit, which obviously rubbed off on himself.

FM Observer: What are the keys to staying youthful and looking good?

Dr. Hendassa: Frankly speaking, I would say being happily married is key. Also, a shot of booze every afternoon certainly doesn’t hurt. Beyond that, I believe playing a lot of ping pong has really helped me stay young and fit. Ping pong and regular naps. Those are both key to living a long and productive life. Now if you don’t mind, it’s time for my nap.

Learn To Count Just Like Indians

IndianCommandmentsx2Lakota, Dakota – Besides being your ever-reliable source for the latest in serious satirical fake news journalism, the FM Observer can also be a powerful free educational tool for many who seek to continuously expand their brainpower.

Today’s free educational offering combines learning a Native American language, along with some basic numerology. At the end of this exciting lesson, you will be able to fluently speak the numbers 1 through 10 in the original Dakota Sioux native tongue.

Please note: Once you have committed these new terms to memory, it is very important to use them as much as possible in your daily conversations. Feel free to make flashcards and test yourself, or ask a complete stranger to pop quiz you.

So now, without any further ado, the FM Observer proudly presents:

How to speak 1-10 in Dakota Sioux:
 1. Wanzi
2. Nonpa
3. Yamni
4. Topa
5. Zaptan
6. Sakpe
7. Sakowin
8. Sahdogan
9. Napcinwanka
10. Wikcemna

{Look for more free educational trainings from FMO in the near future. Some upcoming hot topics may include:  1. How to make toast perfectly every time,  2. What to look for while cloud gazing,  3. Twenty creative uses for your vacuum cleaner.}