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FMO’s BiWeekly Public Service Announcements

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Contact FMO’s PSA Department if you have something to add to our next PSA listing.

West Fargo, ND – Here is this biweekly’s rendition of your FM Observer’s mandatory Public Service Announcements, offered freely to you, our beloved readers, under the strict strictures of the PSA Regulatory Council of America, Section VI, Code 9, Clausette B-12, where it clearly states: Thou shalt offer thy beloved readers free Public Service Announcements of your own volition and in accordance with The Regulatory Council of America.

Here are your Public Service Announcements for the week of January 7-18, 2017 (in some particular order):

☺Edna Adams will be hosting a Book Discussion Club in her basement on Tuesdays. The first book Edna would like to discuss is The Bible.

☺Carl Doofkins has a rabbit he would like to find a home for. The Doofster says it makes a good pet or tastes great sauted in a white wine garlic deglaze.

☺Melvin and Marvin Hankster want to sell everything in their basement. They do not believe their black mold problem should negatively affect anything down there.

☺Arlene Sorna would like to thank everyone for helping look for her cat. Unfortunately, Felixia was picked up by a bald eagle and taken to an undisclosed location.

☺Glenn and Marleen Gagsetter will be hosting a family getogether in their garage on Sunday. Please bring a treat to share while remembering that Marleen is gluten-free and Glenn is glutton-free.

☺Jeni Topkins is offering baby-sitting services to help pay for her trip to Colorado.

☺Alvin Damner is looking for a replacement chainsaw blade for his Model 1100 X-Pro after his last one came flying off while Alvin was trying to jimmy-rig his galvanized steel compression pipes.

☺The graduation party for Tim Nugator has been postponed again since it does not look like graduation will be in Tim’s near future.

☺Max Glanders thinks he might have lost his cellphone near The Northern Gentlemen’s Club. Please call Max if you found it. Max’s cellphone number is: 555-555-5555.

☺Doreen Bunglower will not be hosting Bridge Club on Wednesday because she wants to watch the Harry Conick Jr. television show that day since Michael Bolton is the scheduled special guest.

☺In honor of Sid Bumer’s 90th birthday, his family is planning a surprise party for Sid. All guests are asked to dress in crazy costumes and wait quietly in the dining room until Sid wakes up from his afternoon nap.

Some FM Area Businesses Allowing Use Of Cookies As Fungible Barter Tool

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Some Fargo-Moorhead businesses accepting cookies as money.

Some FM businesses accepting cookies as money.

Fargo, ND – During the holiday season, some Fargo-Moorhead businesses will be accepting cookies as payment for goods and services for amounts less than $10.

“We here at the R.R.C.C. believe that barter in the form of fungible cookies is alive and well in the FM area,” says Dr. Drake Duckson who is president of the Red River Commerce Commission.

For most local businesses and services that are not part of a national chain, two large home-made cookies equal one dollar. Any other type of cookie would need four for a dollar’s worth of goods and services.

Dr. Duckson: “This allowable form of barter shall be in effect in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area until January 2. After that date, a cookie will just be a cookie.”

Some people are already thinking of using cookies to pay for Uber rides, restaurant tips, and even a drive through the Holiday Lights in Lindenwood Park.

Another creative idea was sent in by Mr. Snarv Barshangler who has even tried using cookies as gratuities for stage dancers at the Northern Gentlemen’s Club.

Merry Cookies from the Red River Commerce Commission! :o^