Tag Archives: holiday season

Sponge Pudding Shortage Threatens Some Local Family Traditions

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Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding is a Christmas tradition for many Fargo families.

Fargo, ND – If you’re having a hard time trying to find some Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding for Christmas, you are not alone.

Many families in the Fargo area share the same holiday tradition of eating Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding on Christmas Eve.

Anastasia Fritzi’s family has had the Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding for five generations, going all the way back to their motherland of Prussia.

“What the hell are we going to do if we can’t find any Spotted Dick before Christmas?” she asks, as her family looks like they’re about to cry and freak out simultaneously.

We have learned that a special Sponge Pudding Support Group is forming to help families just like the freaking Fritzis.

In the meantime, Sponge Pudding grief counselors are encouraging their clients to possibly start to consider a new Christmas tradition, such as: making eggnog milkshakes, have a talent show, go pajama caroling, adopt-a-pet, hiding of presents, volunteering at a soup kitchen, snow fort building, or just an old-fashioned family food fight!

Things North Dakotans Have To Be Thankful For

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Thanks for Thanksgiving!

West Fargo, ND – After a comprehensive state-wide survey, your FM Observer has painstakingly compiled a list of things for which North Dakotans have to be thankful.

So, as you gather round your Thanksgiving dinner table and first go around the table to say what each one is thankful for, you can either memorize some of the following, or simply take out your smartphone and read this list straight off our website.

Things To Be Thankful For If You Live In North Dakota:

1. An upcoming Bison football championship
2. Sanford’s New Level I Trauma Center
3. Our state is a Tsunami-free zone
4. The fabulous Medora Musical
5. That Canada is our neighbor
6. Jamestown’s State Hospital
7. Happy Harry’s Bottle Shop
8. Too Tall Tom Szymanski
9. We’re not South Dakota
10. Horizontal Fracking
11. Global Warming
12. NFL Football
13. Legalize ND
14. The Ralph
15. Cara Mund

Top Ten Questions To Ask Family, In-Laws, and Relatives During Christmas

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To make church signs like this, use the link at the bottom of this post.

West Fargo, ND – During your family getogethers with in-laws, relatives, and other extended family members, it is not only a good time to share handshakes and hugs in order to pass your cold and flu germs on to others, but it is also a perfect opportunity to throw out a few key questions to your Christmas group in order to check the general Zeitgeist of where everyone’s at regarding some of the current issues from the past few months.

Even tho your FM Observers are busy, out doing some last minute shopping at Happy Harry, we’ve taken the time to compile an easy-to-use list of questions to randomly throw out during times when the Christmastime conversations may hit a lull.

Top Ten Questions To Ask During Christmas:

10. What’s the latest on the Russian Collusion?
9. How many My Pillows do you have?
8. Have you ever heard of the FM Observer?
7. Are you for Global Warming or Global Cooling?
6. Whatever happened to Anthony’s Weiner?
5. How do you feel about the Red River Diversion project?
4. Do you think Carson Wentz will marry Cara Mund?
3. Did you hear who’s the latest guy accused of groping?
2. Can I have your pudding?
1. Isn’t President Trump doing a great job?!

Church Sign Generator

An Online Christmas Card You Can Send To A Friend

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Merry Christmas to whomever you are!

As we gather round the Christmas tree,
Which was chopped and flocked for you and me,
We nibble on some scones and sip Chablis,
While outside it’s a dangerous one degree.

All the nicely wrapped presents that we see,
Are a result of that black friday shopping spree.
Why get one when you can afford to buy three,
Of those red candles scented with potpourri?

Christmas is a fun time of family glee,
Enhanced on Facebook with hyperbole.
Rather than giving each person a new CD,
Tis way more awesome to get a real pony!

One might suggest getting some activity,
Perhaps head out and go cross country ski.
But most would likely have to agree,
They’d rather watch football on NBC.

Eggnog Support Groups Now Forming For The Holiday Season

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“Many people have an uncontrollable craving for Eggnog.” –Pastor Gregg Donkin

Fargo, ND – A new support group is now forming in the Fargo-Moorhead area for people who are Eggnogaholics.

These are local folks living amongst us who cannot control their desire and lust for the holiday drink we call “Eggnog”.

If you are one of these locals who load up on and then uncontrollably glug the nog by your Christmas tree, then you know exactly of what we speaketh.

For those non-Eggnog cravers, addiction to the holiday nogdrink can be as strong and powerful as being addicted to nicotine, smartphone thumbing, and watching CNN.

Pastor Gregg Donkin is the leader of the new Eggnog Support Group: “Please come and join us if drinking Eggnog is your main weakness. We will be serving free Eggnog to anyone who would like to attend our meetings but who simply cannot go one hour without Eggnog while discussing it with others who share your nogmania.”

Ironically, all the letters in “Gregg Donkin” can be re-arranged to spell: Drink Eggnog!

Some FM Area Businesses Allowing Use Of Cookies As Fungible Barter Tool

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Some Fargo-Moorhead businesses accepting cookies as money.

Some FM businesses accepting cookies as money.

Fargo, ND – During the holiday season, some Fargo-Moorhead businesses will be accepting cookies as payment for goods and services for amounts less than $10.

“We here at the R.R.C.C. believe that barter in the form of fungible cookies is alive and well in the FM area,” says Dr. Drake Duckson who is president of the Red River Commerce Commission.

For most local businesses and services that are not part of a national chain, two large home-made cookies equal one dollar. Any other type of cookie would need four for a dollar’s worth of goods and services.

Dr. Duckson: “This allowable form of barter shall be in effect in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area until January 2. After that date, a cookie will just be a cookie.”

Some people are already thinking of using cookies to pay for Uber rides, restaurant tips, and even a drive through the Holiday Lights in Lindenwood Park.

Another creative idea was sent in by Mr. Snarv Barshangler who has even tried using cookies as gratuities for stage dancers at the Northern Gentlemen’s Club.

Merry Cookies from the Red River Commerce Commission! :o^

New Family Fun Game For The Holidaze: Add-On Swear Word!

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The 1st person says a swear word. The 2nd person says the 1st swear word and adds a 2nd swear word. The 3rd person has to say all the previous swear words and then add another one, and so on and so forth. It’s fun, for the whole fucking family!

Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is rolling out a new family-fun game just in time for the fucking holidays. It’s called Add-On Swear Word!

One brave family member simply starts it off by saying a swear word out loud.

Taking turns going clockwise, each next person has to say all the previous swear words in order from first to last, and then add another swear word to the end of the fucking list.

As the list gets longer and longer, this game is sure to bring your family closer together during the blessed holiday season.

Add-On Swear Word has also been shown to increase the vocabulary of the younger generations while being a good memory exercise for those with mild or severe dementia.