Tag Archives: national day

This Month Is National Hallucination Day Month

If you’re seeing things, you’re not the only one. It’s just a sign of the times.

Eastern West Fargo, ND – On top of everything else already going on in the nation, this is also National Hallucination Day Month.

Just imagine an entire month devoting each and every one of its days to honoring everything on the subject of hallucinations.

As the late Dr. Willy Nilly once preached: “The world is one mass hallucination which is why one whole month should be set aside as National Hallucination Day Month.

Some hallucination experts on our highly paid FM Observer staff have some visionary thoughts about hallucinations:

Luciana Hilton, who majored in hallucinations in college says:

Take your hallucinations seriously, but not too seriously, mmkay? Hallucinations are real but the real question is what does real mean? May I kindly suggest that during hallucinations, make a video of them with your smartphone to prove to friends and family that you’re not going completely nuts.

If you see something weird, say something weird.

Latini Calhoun, who is known in our corporate office park as having periodic flashbacks to rock concerts from yesteryear has these thinkings on the matter:

How do you really know if all your perceptions aren’t actually hallucinations? What I’ve found to help is trying to interact with your hallucinations in a simple state of wakeful dreaming. Always remember during National Hallucination Day Month: Hallucinations are as real as your dreams which are as real as your own reality!

Dr. Lilianna Touch of our Human Resources department, also happens to be a licensed hallucinationologist. She believes that having visions without any follow-up action is a hallucination wasted, so therefore act on your visions to reduce your number of hallucinations while increasing the quantity and quality of your visions.

All the letters in hallucination can spell Italiano Lunch, which is kind of pictured here.

Bottom line: During National Hallucination Day Month, when you have to choose between two valid hallucinations, chose the one that best fits the incoming data of your own personal reality in that space time.

Ironically, all of the letters in Luciana Hilton, Latini Calhoun, and Lilianna Touch can be re-arranged to spell: Hallucination!

April 30 Is National Chop-Down-Your-Neighbor’s-Tree Day

April 30 Is National Chop-Down-Your-Neighbor's-Tree Day!

Today is the day you get to chop down that tree you hate in your neighbor’s yard! No questions axed.

Marked Tree, Arkansas – In the wake of yesterday being Arbor Day, today is our national day to chop down any neighborhood trees that you don’t like. Chop it down today and axe questions tomorrow.

Trees have been shown to provide shade which can lead to Global Cooling. Do your part. Chopped down a tree today. No questions axed.

Many accidental injuries are tree-related such as falling out of a treehouse while drinking a bier. Help avoid these type of accidents in your neighborhood. Proactively start a-chopping. Axe a friend to help.

Trees can be home to many diseases such as Dutch Elm, Treebola, and the dreaded Zika Virus. If you’re tired of being sick, today is the day to make a difference.

So, go grab that axe and do what needs to be done. If they axe you why you’re doing it, there’s no need to mention that you read this post on the FM Observer. You just tell’em, hey, it’s National Chop-Down-A-Neighbor’s-Tree Day!

Today Is National Haiku Poetry Day!

Write a 5-7-5 haiku today and tomorrow.

Write a 5-7-5 haiku today and tomorrow.

West Fargo, ND – Yes, it is once again National Haiku Day!

These are those short 5-7-5 syllable poems that made China famous.

We here at the FM Observer use haiku poems as our standard default method of inter-office communication each and every day.

We’ll show you some of our haikus if you show us yours.

To get the ball rolling, here are some of our haikus, on this National Haiku Poetry Day:

Line one of haiku
We’re into line number two
Third and final line

This is a haiku
Now it is almost over
How did you like it?

Are you ready yet?
Tomorrow is not today
Become the sunrise

My dog is Fido
And my cat’s name is Felix
My car is Otto

A pair of Shih Tzus
It seems like a great idea
After many beers

If you drink and drive
Make sure that what you’re drinking
Is just H 2 O

If fences don’t work
Then why do they have a fence
Around the White House?

Sanders and Clinton
Both stand for Big Government
Hello George Orwell

Went 2 math camp once
8 equations 4 dinner
Number of friends there

This is a haiku
It is almost finished now
Let’s write another!

FM Observer
Your best source of real fake news
We’re always working