Tag Archives: nebraska

Fargo’s Dr. Hendassa Calling It Quits After 150 Years Of Service

“After 150 years of practicing medicine and I am still learning.” –Dr. Frank Hendassa

Fargo, ND – Fargo’s own Dr. Frank Hendassa has decided to finally retire after practicing medicine for 150 years.

Dr. Hendassa opened the original Dakota Clinic out of a covered wagon back in the year 1867, the same year that Nebraska became the 37th state.

This was the year that antiseptic surgery and mouthwash were discovered by Joseph Listerine.

Dr. Hendassa did it all back then, doing surgery, internal medicine, and even delivering babies one whose name was Frank Lloyd Wright.

Later in his career at about the 100 year point back in 1967 Frank decided to specialize in keeping his patients healthy and looking young and fit, which obviously rubbed off on himself.

FM Observer: What are the keys to staying youthful and looking good?

Dr. Hendassa: Frankly speaking, I would say being happily married is key. Also, a shot of booze every afternoon certainly doesn’t hurt. Beyond that, I believe playing a lot of ping pong has really helped me stay young and fit. Ping pong and regular naps. Those are both key to living a long and productive life. Now if you don’t mind, it’s time for my nap.

Last Sane People On Earth Now Starting To Lose Their Minds

Let's just try to "hold it together" for a little longer.

Let’s just try to “hold it together” for a little longer, okay?

Valentine, NE – Up until now, the last two sane people living in this insane world were Charles and Beverly Landstrum from Valentine, Nebraska.

But now, unfortunately, the Landstrums have begun to show signs that they too are starting to “lose it”.

When asked for comment, Beverly stated: “Well, I certainly thought I ordered two sour creams from the milk man but unless there was maybe some sort of problem with our Christmas tree being too short we may want to try out for Wheel Of Fortune.”

Charles then stepped in to clarify: “My mother used to make us fresh cookies every Saturday but I wanted to watch cartoons instead. So, can we watch some cartoons now?”

At this time, top federal investigators are unwilling to classify the Landstrums as crazy until they have had much more time to determine whether or not they fall into the strict federal definition of insane.