Tag Archives: orbit

UFO Encounter In Marshall County Minnesota Finally Solved

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We are very sorry. For causing any trouble. We did not know. That our presence on Earth. Was going to be such a big deal.

Stephen, MN – The mysterious UFO encounter which happened in Minnesota’s Marshall county forty years ago has finally been solved.

Three space aliens who had recently been detained on unrelated drug charges confessed to flying the orb-like spaceship which was at the center of the infamous 1979 UFO sighting.

“Yes, it was our Orb cruiser which caused the bright light and then accidentally struck the squad car of Deputy Val Johnson near Stephen Minnesota,” said the three spaced aliens, as translated through their alien attorney.

The three undocumented aliens went on to say: “We mean the people of Earth no harm. We only wanted to co-mingle and party with you frackers. Even though you’re a relatively primitive species, we admire your gumption and spunk.”

The Orb Is Now Available Wherever Cool Things Are Sold

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The Orb knows all.

Potter, WI – If you like ordering cool things online that are even cooler when you open the box, then Google’s new Hairy Potter Magical Orb is for you.

Tech-sperts are raving about The Orb and predicting that it could soon replace the need for Siri, Alexa, and smartphones.

Not only does it answer any and all questions you may have, but also acts as a communication device which does not need any keyboard since it can read your mind.

Google’s new Hairy Potter Magical Orb can answer any questions about the past, show what’s currently happening in the present, and accurately predict the future.

The only thing it cannot do is serve you breakfast in bed, although many people do like to sleep with The Orb.

New Cheeseburger-Shaped Space Restaurant Ready To Serve

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Ready, Set, Blast Off to the new Burger King Space Station Restaurant!

Kennedy Space Center, FL – NASA and the Burger King Corporation are very proud to announce that their joint effort to put a Burger King restaurant into space orbit has finally been realized.

With today comes news that a flying Double Whopper® no tomato, no lettuce, extra cheese has been blasted into orbit. The aircraft, tentatively named SpaceBurger, is home for a brand new Burger King franchise that is scheduled to land on Mars in the year 2018.

Any asstronauts out for a leisurely spacewalk or hungry legal aliens who might be passing through our galaxy will be happily surprised to find a wide variety of zero-gravity fast-food offerings at the new SpaceBurger King location:

  • Gooburger
  • Antigravity ChickenTron
  • Dehydrated Whopper Jr
  • Dry Ice Fries
  • Chocolate SpaceShakes

You should know that intergalactic commerce does not accept our puny Earth currency–orders must be paid for in Marklar, the official space dollar. One Gooburger is slated to cost you seven Marklar, while the price for one Dehydrated Whopper Jr is set at five Marklar.

Burger King President Bernardo Cheese indicates that another similar orbiting restaurant will soon be launched but this next one will look like an order of Chicken Fries. Other fast food chains are also planning their own spaced-out restaurants; some being designed with outdoor Kiddy Playlands.