Tag Archives: problem

Moorhead’s Turkey Mitigation Program Getting High Marks

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Let’s Talk Turkey!

Moorhead, MN – The City of Moorhead is having a special all-city meeting to talk turkey.

With a problematic over-abundance of wild turkeys, all options are on the table.

Option #1: Turkey Adoption Program (TAP) would ask Moorhead residents to adopt one (1) wild turkey and keep it in the confines of their fenced back yard with the idea that if kept apart, there would be less wild turkeys in the future.

Option #2: Slingshot some of Moorhead’s wild turkeys into Fargo with the idea being: Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of Moorhead!

Option #3: Market Moorhead Turkey Jerky at all the local convenience stores with the idea that if you can’t beat them, then just eat them. (Another variation here would be for Moorhead to celebrate Thanksgiving monthly.)

Option #4: Gather up all the wild turkeys and turn them into Wild Turkey Bourbon to be used as the centerpiece of Moorhead’s Annual Wild Turkey Bourbon Fest.

Family Trapped In Fargo Escape Room For Weeks

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If you don’t escape from an Escape Room, then you’re trapped like rats, up a creek without a paddle.

Fargo, ND – A family that tried to find their way out of an Escape Room ended up being lost and forgotten for a number of weeks.

Ms. Paulette Soules along with her husband and their three children apparently were not up to the Escape Room challenge.

Unfortunately, when their problem solving skills weren’t good enough to help them think outside the box, they somehow got forgotten in some hidden back room with no doors or windows but which luckily had a refrigerator that was fully stocked with beer and various snack foods.

Ironically, all of the letters in Paulette Soules can be re-arranged to spell: Please, let us out!

Downtown Fargo Parking Sucks: No Plans To Fix

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"Part of the allure of coming to downtown Fargo is the parking problem."

“Part of the allure of coming to downtown Fargo is the parking problem.”

Fargo, ND – It is not a big secret that the parking situation in downtown Fargo is a problem. Just try meeting someone for lunch downtown and driving around attempting to find a suitable place to park that’s relatively close to your destination. “Sorry I’m late. Couldn’t find a place to park!”

What might be a surprise to most is that there are no plans to solve the problem.

City Planner Merv Schlekler opines: “It’s been this way for so long that people have gotten used to it. Even going way back to when Fargo was called Centralia, parking your car or your horse was never easy.”

Many ideas have been brainstormed as to how Fargo City Officials could perhaps solve the problem, but one by one, they have all ended up in the circular file.

The parking “problem” in Downtown Fargo is here to stay, and is being downgraded to an “irritation”. This way, those little golf cart cops can continue blocking the roads while ticketing as many vehicles as possible to provide Fargo an endless stream of cash flow, all by design.