Tag Archives: swan dive

Boy Drives Entire Family Nuts Practicing Trumpet

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Practice doesn’t always make perfect.

Trumbull, Nebraska – When Daniel Boddington first decided that he wanted to become a trumpet player in the school band, his family was so happy and excited.

Daniel’s parents spared no expense and bought him a brand new Bach TR300H2 300 Series golden trumpet.

Even though the new young trumpeter diligently practiced at home starting early every morning and until quite late every night, the sounds he produced unfortunately never really started to noticeably show any signs of improvement.

One neighbor described Daniel’s trumpet playing as “a cross between a semi truck’s sad sick air-horn crying out because it just lost its mate and some very bad loud gases being expelled at a flatus festival”.

How does Daniel Boddington’s family feel about his trumpet playing now?

Well, his father has gone completely mad, his mother just completed Phase II of a total nervous meltdown, and all of Daniel’s siblings are sponsored by Xanax and currently are bottoming out on opioid addiction.

As far as the school band, everyone is invited to attend their Spring Concert in which the band director has proudly chosen Daniel Boddington to play a five-minute solo during the piece which is entitled The Call Of the Trumpeter Swan.

Man falls off bridge into the Red River in Fargo-Moorhead

Man apparently falls off a railroad bridge in North Fargo.

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Fargo, ND – Authorities Sunday night pulled a man out of the Red River.  The man was believed to be walking on the railroad tracks that are located between Fargo and Moorhead when he allegedly fell in the river.  Witnesses were on scene but are telling different stories.  One witness stated he saw the man clumsily stumble, fall off, and do a vicious belly flop into the river followed by an, “Ow Ow Ow”.  Other witnesses stated they saw the man approach the end of the bridge, bend his knees as if to test the flexibility of the bridge, raise his hands in the air, and jump off.  While in the air, this flying Fargo man was seen doing somersault type maneuvers which then turned into what looked like a flying swan.  This story was confirmed by at least 3 witnesses.

After police pulled the man out of the river we learned the man was actually an Olympic diver training for the London 2012 Games.  Since it is winter most of the year in Fargo-Moorhead, this high dive flying swan said there is no better way to train then diving off a bridge in the middle of the night while dodging ice and frozen water while landing.  Tragically, no alcohol was involved.