Tag Archives: work camp

All Climate Change Deniers To Be ‘Rounded Up’ And Sent To Work Camps

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Welcome to Carbon Footprint Global Warming Work Camp

Welcome to Global Warming Work Camp!

Marfa, TX – Ever since the threat of carbon emissions was deemed to be the #1 threat to our country’s safety, Big Government is wasting no time in dealing with deniers of Climate Change.

All who have publicly (or privately) denied Global Warming, or Climate Change in general, will be forcibly gathered by the U.S. Marshals Service and transported (free-of-charge) to one of many Federal detention facilities which have been thoughtfully set up in extremely remote parts of the country, such as Marfa, Texas.

At these “Denier Workcamps”, guests will be invited to self-tutorialize themselves on Climate Change facts and figures, perform various experiments on fracking and carbon dioxide pollution, make posters for upcoming Climate Change protests, and maby even help Algore collect unpaid carbon footprint taxes.

If you have ever overtly expressed doubt about Global Warming or Climate Change, expect a firm knock on your door by fully-armed U.S. Marshals sooner rather than later.

Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers

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Moorhead's new penalties for not recycling the most draconian in the nation.

Moorhead’s new penalties for not recycling are the most draconian in the nation.

Moorhead, MN – Effective immediately, the City of Moorhead will now be enforcing stringent new penalties for any and all households that do not recycle.

Moorhead’s Recycling Czar Marv Hammerstone: “Some folks might not like how strict these new penalties are but we don’t like non-recyclers.”

For a 1st violation, the penalty will be: One week at a recycling work camp, one day on the e-Wall of Shame, a fine of $100, and one Hail Mary.

For a 2nd violation, the penalty will be: Two weeks at a recycling work camp, two days on the e-Wall of Shame, a fine of $200, and two Hail Marys. And so on and so forth.

How will the City of Moorhead know if someone is not recycling?

Czar Hammerstone says: “Oh, we will know! Don’t you worry about that, mmkay? We will use every sneaky possible way we can think of to determine if you’re a non-recycler and then impose swift and hard punishments accordingly.”