Try Some Radioactive Soup For What Ails You

​Are you wanting to jazz up your diet? Do you need more energy to charge your batteries? Would you like to consume more soup? Dr. Audie Porta-Visco who specializes in radioactive foods suggests that you make some radioactive...

Famous Rock Band ‘Autopsia’ Is Coming To Fargo; Tickets Selling Madly

Fargone, ND – Another excessively huge concert is just about to be announced for Fargo, North Dakotah! Autopsia will be performing some of their greatest mega-hits, including: Coffee and Cremation, Dead Upon Arrival, Peace...

Expert Now Believes Universe Began And Will Also End With A Big Bang

Bangor, Maine – Dr. Gabbin Fingal now has good reason to believe that the universe will end just like it began. Dr. Fingal’s highly scientific model of the universe has repeatedly shown that the original Big Bang of...

Burp McGuire Explains The Difference Between A Horse, Donkey, Mule, And Jackass

West Fargo, ND – Our very own Burp McGuire answers a good question from one of our faithful readers. Tammy LaConk asks: Dear Burp, what is the difference between a horse, a donkey, a mule, a jackass and a zebra? Burp: Dear...

Fargo Getting Positive Response From Students About Year-Round Schooling

Fargo, ND – Gone are the good old days of School’s Out For Summer! Students of all ages in the Fargo school system will soon have the pleasure of year-round schooling. School Board members are patting themselves on...

Moorhead Man Who Was Attacked By A Mourning Dove Is Expected To Survive

Moorhead, MN – Mr. Nevin Goodrum, who was peacefully sitting in his backyard, decided to call to the mourning dove that was sitting up in his tree by blowing into his cupped hands. After a few near-perfect calls, Mr....

Clown Parade Coming To Downtown Fargo :o)

Fargo, ND – Downtown Fargo will soon be invaded by thousands of clowns from across the country. Many clowns will be descending on Clowntown Fargo because it’s the next site of the annual national Clown Parade. Despite...

Tree Toppled By Storm’s Strong Winds Damages Home Which Owner Fixes Using Only Duct Tape

Fargo, ND – The home of Dr. Devito Petalcu was heavily damaged this past weekend when a hurricane-force gust knocked down a very large tree onto his family’s house. Not wanting to wait for help to arrive, the Petalcu...

Women Moving To Venus And Leaving Men Behind

Venus, FL – With men mostly in charge of things here on Earth, and with the general state of affairs going from bad to worse, women are banding together to head out to their very own beautiful planet: Venus! Earth women are...

Johnnny’s Eighth Retrospective (Posts 700-800)

Since 800 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 800th post to take a trip back down memory lane. So, it’s time once again to look back at Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer....