Recipes For Success

Moorhead Man Who Claims To Be The Real Santa Retained For Questioning
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Moorhead Man Who Claims To Be The Real Santa Retained For Questioning

December 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Authorities in the quirky town of Moorhead have detained a man claiming to be the real Santa. Investigators have a plan to hold the Santa Man until after Christmas to prove that either he is an impostor, or...
Cigar-Shaped Alien Spacecraft Actually A Large French Bread Heading For Fargo
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Cigar-Shaped Alien Spacecraft Actually A Large French Bread Heading For Fargo

December 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Oumuamua, Hawaii – The FM Observer is proudly excited to exclusively report that we have just received confirmation from Mr. Hankey that the large meteor which is on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota is actually...
Mall Santa Resigns After Multiple Accusations Of Groping
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Mall Santa Resigns After Multiple Accusations Of Groping

December 9th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – One of the real fake Santas at a well-known local Fargo shopping mall has resigned amid numerous accusations of groping any women within a “reasonable groping distance”. Some disgusted mothers and...
Winter Snow Predictions Now Called ‘Flake News’
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Winter Snow Predictions Now Called ‘Flake News’

December 4th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – National weather experts will now be referring to any and all snowfall predictions in the future as Flake News in order to keep up with the changing times and tweets. The most recent example of Flake News for...
West Fargo Adding Seven New Robo-Cops To Its Police Force
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West Fargo Adding Seven New Robo-Cops To Its Police Force

November 29th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – To keep up with a growing demand for police presence, West Fargo has gotten the OK to add seven new Robo-Cops to its department. Analysis of a recent survey showed that the City-On-The-Grow actually needed...
Al Franken Dedicates New Center For Groping
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Al Franken Dedicates New Center For Groping

November 28th, 2017 | by Johnnny
St. Paul, MN – Yesterday Senator Al Franken proudly dedicated his new Center For Groping, which is conveniently located near the Minnesota State Fair grounds. At the dedication ceremony, when asked about all the recent...
Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away
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Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away

November 27th, 2017 | by Johnnny
St. Paul, MN – A recently completed study for the state of Minnesota has made an astonishing discovery about the year 2100. Minnesota scientists, working with NASA, have determined that the year 2100 in Earth Years is only...
Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit
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Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit

November 21st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Touchet, WA – A recently deceased woman claims that she was groped by then President Woodrow Wilson whilst she was on a group tour of the White House. Ms. Gerda Powis of Touchet, Washington wrote in her detailed memoirs...
Johnnny’s Sixth Retrospective (Posts 500-600)
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Johnnny’s Sixth Retrospective (Posts 500-600)

November 20th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Since 600 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 600th post to take a trip back down memory lane. So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer....
Cat Racing Coming To Fargo
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Cat Racing Coming To Fargo

November 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The exciting sport of Cat Racing will soon be coming to Fargo! “Have some fun while betting on your favorite cat and get drunk at the same time. It just doesn’t get any better than that,” says...