Local

Second New Species Discovered At The Red River Valley Fair
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Second New Species Discovered At The Red River Valley Fair

July 11th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – Yesterday, Dr. William Francis and his team discovered a new species at the Red River Valley Fair in under one hour.  Today, Mr. Francis and his team have done it again! His expedition team was yet again...
New Species Discovered At Red River Valley Fair
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New Species Discovered At Red River Valley Fair

July 10th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo,  ND – Scientists gather to search for new species. Yesterday evening, Dr. William Francis and his team set out on an expedition to look for a new species of human.  A mission that took two years to put...
Man Immediately Vaporized As He Stepped Outside
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Man Immediately Vaporized As He Stepped Outside

April 6th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – A West Fargo man says his neighbor was vaporized this morning. Earlier this morning police received a call from a man who stated he just witnessed his neighbor being vaporized right before his eyes. Roger...
Local Middle Aged Man Just Stops Giving A Fuck
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Local Middle Aged Man Just Stops Giving A Fuck

May 31st, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – “Hi, I’d like to buy a pair of fucks, please.” “Sorry. Fresh out, bitch.” A local middle aged Fargo man has been found to have stopped giving a fuck.  The reason behind such a...
Gary Clark To Be On The Next Season Of Dancing With The Stars
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Gary Clark To Be On The Next Season Of Dancing With The Stars

May 9th, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller
West Fargo, ND – In October 2012, Gary Clark made the decision to follow his heart and stepped down as the West Fargo High School principal to pursue his river dancing career. Read the story here. Since then, Gary Clark has...
Semi Loses Control On I-94 In West Fargo
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Semi Loses Control On I-94 In West Fargo

May 8th, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller
West Fargo, ND – After 12:30 yesterday afternoon, a semi heading west on 1-94 was exiting the West Fargo exit ramp when it rolled. Police are still investigating what happened but would like to note that the semi did indeed...
Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead Cleanup Week Postponed Until 2020
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Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead Cleanup Week Postponed Until 2020

April 24th, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller
West Fargo, ND – Every year in May, Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead conduct their yearly cleanup week where people may throw out their hordes of crap.  Not this year. This year you will have to hold onto your complete and...
The Cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead All Hate You
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The Cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead All Hate You

April 2nd, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller
As I was driving around in my car today it came to my attention that the cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead hate everyone and want to punish you with potholes to death. Why they would want to punish us or my car is...
How Schools Decide To Close During Weather Events
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How Schools Decide To Close During Weather Events

January 28th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
A number of factors come into play when a school is deciding whether or not to close their doors due to weather events.   Below are some of the obvious factors:   - It is so cold that your balls shrivel all the way up...
Man Caught Having ‘Sexy Time’ With Area Pumpkins
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Man Caught Having ‘Sexy Time’ With Area Pumpkins

October 31st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – Pumpkins missing from your front door step?  West Fargo Police finally have an answer for you. Early this morning, a West Fargo man was arrested for having sexy time with pumpkins all over the West Fargo...