Recipes For Success

Russian Roulette Club (Once Again) Seeking One New Member
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Russian Roulette Club (Once Again) Seeking One New Member

March 30th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Moscow, Idaho – A Russian Roulette Club is actively seeking one new member to fill the vacant seat of a former member who suffered a mishap. “In any game of chance you have your ups and downs, and unfortunately for...
South Park Being Used Extensively As Educational Tool For Pandemic Home Schooling
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South Park Being Used Extensively As Educational Tool For Pandemic Home Schooling

March 24th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Yourtown, USA – With schools being closed for the foreseeable future, many parents are choosing to educate their home-schooled children by having them watch South Park. “Used as an educational tool, South Park checks...
FM Observer’s First Annual Panicfest Cancelled Due To Lack Of Toilet Paper
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FM Observer’s First Annual Panicfest Cancelled Due To Lack Of Toilet Paper

March 18th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – What was to be a celebratory reminder to everyone to not panic during a Global Pandemic has been cancelled due to lack of toilet paper. Panicfest organizers made the tough decision to cancel the first annual...
Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style
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Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style

March 16th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Medora, ND – Serious times require serious measures, which is why North Dakotans are being asked to stay as far away from each other as possible. How far is considered safe? Well, the definition of a plain is one tree per...
Fargo Man Impaled By Large Icicle Doesn’t Notice It Until He Gets Home To His Wife
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Fargo Man Impaled By Large Icicle Doesn’t Notice It Until He Gets Home To His Wife

March 13th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Yes, it’s that dangerous time of the year once again when large icicles are precariously hanging high above the Downtown Fargo sidewalks. Such was the case when Mr. Ace Leidich slowly sauntered along while...
First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”
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First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”

March 10th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Corona, California – The first documented case of the Corona Virus being passed from a human to a machine has now been confirmed. The machine, whose identity is being kept confidential for now, keeps on saying the same...
Bernie Sanders Waves Good-Bye To Humanity As He Leaves To Become The First President Of Mars
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Bernie Sanders Waves Good-Bye To Humanity As He Leaves To Become The First President Of Mars

March 9th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Mars, Milky Way – Shortly after suspending his 2020 presidential campaign, Bernie Sanders waved to everyone on Earth as he boarded his plane for Mars. “This is a bittersweet moment. Bitter because Joe Biden looks to...
Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus
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Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus

March 6th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – While sleeping soundly in his Fargo home, a man who had a dream of being on a cruise ship woke up testing positive for the Corona Virus. After deciding to self-quarantine in his bedroom, the man fell back asleep...
Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each
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Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each

March 5th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – A Moorhead man who has stockpiled literally thousands of the much-demanded N95 facial masks is now selling them for $100 each. Mark Rhoades says that as a favor to the community, he is graciously willing to...
Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?
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Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?

March 2nd, 2020 | by Johnnny
Catalina, Arizona – We recently surveyed less than a million people asking about cats as pets. The overall consensus from our expensive and extensive survey was that domesticated cats have now become obsolete. Case in...