Wear an anti-musk mask to avoid being overcome by the pungent odor from the beastly migrating oxen.
Fargo, ND – While North Dakota is still dealing with the Covid crisis, it will soon also have to contend with a Bovid crisis.
Thousands of musk ox from the Bovid family of large hoofed mammals will soon be doing their annual migration.
Because of climate change, this year’s route is going to bring an extremely large group of the strong musk-smelling animals through the Fargo area.
Authorities are recommending that the public wear masks when outside due to the powerful musky odor emitted by the males who are trying to attract females.
Because some of the animals weigh almost 900 pounds, people are also asked to quarantine during the times that the musk ox migration is moving through our region.
In summary, because of the Bovid migration, either shelter in place (in small groups) to stay safe, or if you must go out for beer, wear a mask to maximize your herd immunity to the strong musky smell and minimize your chances of being overcome by the intense Bovidian odor.
Question: What is the mask strategy? Answer: To not do anything that would effectively slow the spread of the coronavirus.
West Fargo, ND – Rather than imposing a mask mandate like neighboring Fargo finally did, West Fargo’s wizards of smart decided to implement a Mask Strategy.
You may ask: What is West Fargo’s mask strategy?
Apparently West Fargo’s mask strategy is to “strongly encourage” the wearing of masks without hurting the feelings of any pandemically-challenged people who think wearing a mask is just too difficult. (Most anti-maskers realize too late that being intubated is a lot more difficult than simply wearing a mask.)
Unfortunately, it seems that strong encouragement and invitations for personal responsibility don’t get through to blockheads that either don’t understand the serious nature of a highly contagious pandemic or whose stubbornness will eventually lead to our collective demise.
The FM Observer would like to congratulate the West Fargo City Commission on having a special meeting to come up with a strategy that has less teeth than a jellyfish and which will result in zero effect toward stemming the tidal wave of exponential covidian spread.