Recipes For Success

First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”
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First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”

March 10th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Corona, California – The first documented case of the Corona Virus being passed from a human to a machine has now been confirmed. The machine, whose identity is being kept confidential for now, keeps on saying the same...
Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus
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Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus

March 6th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – While sleeping soundly in his Fargo home, a man who had a dream of being on a cruise ship woke up testing positive for the Corona Virus. After deciding to self-quarantine in his bedroom, the man fell back asleep...
Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each
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Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each

March 5th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – A Moorhead man who has stockpiled literally thousands of the much-demanded N95 facial masks is now selling them for $100 each. Mark Rhoades says that as a favor to the community, he is graciously willing to...
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus

February 24th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War. President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to...
Corona Virus Now Treatable With Extra Lime
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Corona Virus Now Treatable With Extra Lime

January 23rd, 2020 | by Johnnny
Corona, SD – With another disease heading our way from China, our very own Dr. Orvin Caruso who lives and works in Corona, South Dakota is already well ahead of this new and potentially deadly virus. Dr. Caruso first points...
“Gray Stray Cat Virus” Now Infecting Some Home Computers
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“Gray Stray Cat Virus” Now Infecting Some Home Computers

July 31st, 2018 | by Johnnny
Cathead, Pennsylvania – A new computer virus called the Gray Stray Cat is on the prowl. It silently lurks in waiting until unsuspecting computer users let down their guards. How will you know if you have the Gray Stray Cat...
Florida Hurricane Giving Zika Mosquitos A Free Ride To The Entire East Coast
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Florida Hurricane Giving Zika Mosquitos A Free Ride To The Entire East Coast

September 2nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Miami, FL – As hazardous Hurricane Hermine passed over Florida, most people were worried about the obvious winds, rains, and flooding from a category one hurricane. What most people did not realize was that as tropical...
Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes
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Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes

August 4th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Rio, Braziliana – Unexpected opportunities for unlikely Olympic participants are being caused by Olympic qualifiers deciding to not go to the Rio Games due to Zikaphobia. After years of training, sacrificing, and qualifying for...
2016 Rio Olympics Being Moved To Zanzibar
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2016 Rio Olympics Being Moved To Zanzibar

June 3rd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Zanzibar City, Zanzibar – Since Rio de Janeiro is having such a plethora of problems including: a government meltdown, uncontrolled street violence, raw sewage in Guanabara Bay, an epic water shortage, and the zika virus,...
April 30 Is National Chop-Down-Your-Neighbor’s-Tree Day
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April 30 Is National Chop-Down-Your-Neighbor’s-Tree Day

April 30th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Marked Tree, Arkansas – In the wake of yesterday being Arbor Day, today is our national day to chop down any neighborhood trees that you don’t like. Chop it down today and axe questions tomorrow. Trees have been shown...