Category Archives: Strange But True

Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor

Mt. Agung: nice ash!

Washington, D.C. – After losing a number of top advisors in recent weeks, President Trump filled one of the vacant slots with a highly unusual appointment today. Mt. Agung, the active volcano currently erupting in Bali, has been named as his newest high-ranking cabinet member.

“I have a wonderful, beautiful, special relationship with Mt. Agung. That volcano is really, really smart, it’s got amazing ideas, you’ve never heard ideas like these…the best…and it’s going to be a great thing for our country, America, which is a great country, but it could be better, but now it will be better, like way way better,” Trump exclaimed earlier today.

Asked what he was thinking by naming a volcano as a top advisor, President Trump said, “Mt. Agung is yuge and strong, like really strong, and really yuge. Plus it’s a volcano, which is amazing…it’s got the best eruptions in the world, the hottest lava, its ash is the best ash I’ve ever seen…everyone is going to love it, and I mean love it bigly.”

White House staffers had no comment, but insiders tell the FM Observer that they are “drinking heavily” and “mostly just praying”.

How To Tell If A Bird Has The Bird Flu

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SuperFLUous Bird

Birdeye, Arkansas – With the Avian Flu starting to spread its nasty wings, it might be helpful for us all to know the signs of a Sick Bird.

After months and months of careful research, the FM Observer has put together a fairly long short-list of the most common ways to identify a bird that may be carrying the dreaded Bird Flu:

1. Flies into walls and windows at full speed.
2. Just generally looks kind of “koo-koo.”
3. Spontaneous dry heave-tweeting.
4. Sits in bird bath eating off-brand chicken soup.
5. Calls in sick multiple times a day.
6. Uses too much beak lotion.
7. Unusual bleeding from the eyes.
8. Tries to mate with its own reflection.
9. Refers to all other birds as “Harold.”
10. Sings “Smoke On The Water” instead of its normal birdsong.
11. Nest is made entirely of Doritos.
12. Incessantly posts bird flu jokes on its Twitter account.
13. Repeatedly steals the Jehovah’s Witness propaganda from your doorknob.
14. Flies into a pharmacy looking for XanaX.
15. It flu North, when all its friends flew South.

If you notice a sickly bird manifesting any of these signs, first try not to panic, then immediately call your local Avian Flu Response Center Association and mention the Promo Code KTG723JWSKFYS3V2M.

FMO Reporter Describes Seeing A Ghost

If seeing is believing, the I do believe in ghosts.

If seeing is believing, then I do believe in ghosts.

Hauntown, Iowa – Gabrial Aimes here, reporting from Hauntown, Iowa, at the very sight, where I just saw a ghost.

Yes, with my very own eyes, I saw the ghost, first go into this house behind me here, and then, the ghost subsequently exited the same house, about two minutes later, apparently heading off to the grocery store.

I would describe the ghost as tall, about six foot two, a seemingly transparent white look to it, and it was acting unusually skiddish, relative to other ghosts I’ve observed over my long and stellar career.

Of course, we will stay on this Breaking News story, for all our interested FM Observers, and let you know as soon as we have more information on the ghost, that was seen only moments ago, exiting that haunted house, right over there. Gabriel Aimes, reporting live, from here in spooky Hauntown, Iowa. Back to you, Dick!

It’s The Year Of The Owl

Who are you?

I’m kind of a night owl.

Owls Head, NY – Even though it will be the Year of the Sheep for the Chinese New Year, for the rest of the world it is the: Year of the Owl!

Owls seem to be the new hip thing that everyone is into, and for some very good reasons.

Here are some interesting facts about our owl friends that you may or may not have known.

Owls are super smart, which is why a group of owls is called a parliament. The oldest owl is referred to as the Speaker of the House. Whenever you hear owls saying “Hoo Hoo”, this means they are taking a voice vote on an important owl issue in their area.

Owl eyes do not move in their heads because they are like an expensive pair of night-vision binoculars. This is why most people close they window shades at night before getting ready for bed.

Owl ears are not symmetric on their heads just like Stephen Colbert’s ears. This is so they can better determine where sounds are coming from, in order to find where the parties are.

In flight, owls can fly completely silently due to their stealth technology, which they eventually shared with the U.S. military aircraft industry, who then went on to share it with all of our enemies.

Owls are nocturnal, which means that when it’s hunting time, they make a “knocking” sound when it’s their “turn” to go get a snack. This is their special way of communicating with other hungry owls in order to prevent embarrassing mid-air collisions.

Just like the girl in the Exorcist, all owls can turn their heads 720 degrees which (may sound hot, but it) translates into two full head spins. They do this to attract a mate during dating season (or a date during mating season).

Finally, just like Hedwig from Harry Potter fame, every owl has a name. If you call out to an owl with its correct name, chances are you will soon have a visitor landing on your deck, who would love to listen to you talon a story.

Local Man Who Dreamed He Was Flying Somehow Woke Up In Tokyo

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When in Japan, see some Sumo!

Fargo, ND – A local Fargo man who crawled into bed in Fargo at around 11:00 PM on December 29th, somehow amazingly woke up in Tokyo, Japan the next day.

Dave Cooperfeld of 243 Pinecone Place says he had a dream that night in which he was flying in a large passenger airplane. When he woke up from his long slumber, he was in Tokyo!

Experts are trying to figure out just how this could have happened. His wife, Claudia, is wondering how her husband is going to get home?

They both recall his recent Chinese fortune cookie which said: “An unexpected trip is soon at hand.” But at the time they both thought it meant a fall or tumble down the stairs.

None of the airlines show any record of Mr. Cooperfeld boarding an airplane between the time he went to bed and when he ended up in Tokyo.

Some speculate that the sleeping Mr. Cooperfeld travelled through a worm hole or a “wrinkle in time”. His wife thinks that rum was involved.

While he’s there, Mr. Cooperfeld is planning on visiting the famous Fish Market, checking out some Sumo wrestling, perhaps drinking some Hot Sake (SOCK-key), and then maybe topping it all off by singing some Karaoke (Carry-OH-key).

Ghost Convention To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

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Ghost convention coming to Fargo!

Fargo, ND – Living organizers of the International Ghost Convention have just announced that the next International Ghost Convention will be held in Fargo, North Dakota on Monday night, October 31st, or as most spiritual beings call it: Halloween.

Because of the large number of ghastly ghosts expected to attend, the Fargodome has been selected to be the haunted hang-out to house all these haughty hobgoblins.

Casper the friendly ghost, along with his uncles, the Ghostly Trio, have been asked to emcee this eerie event.

This annual convening of ghosts will officially begin at eight o’clock (post meridiem) and will gho until just before sunrise on Saturday morning, November 1st, when all the attendees will be heading back to their spirit world.

Fargodome staffers will need time on Saturday morning to clean up and set up for the NDSU football game in which the Bizon will be hosting the feral jackrabbits from South Dakota State University.

Update: Any brave trick-or-treaters are invited to come and join the fun. This would be a great chance to see the ghost version of the Fargo Airshow!

Bags Of Money Hidden All Over The FM Area

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Look for bags of money secretly hidden throughout the Fargo/Moorhead/West Fargo area!

Fargo, ND – Have you ever dreamt of finding a bag full of money? Could you and your family use some extra cash before the holiday season rolls around? Do you like searching for hidden treasures?

An unnamed benefactor who wishes to remain anonymous (but who loves the movie Fargo) wants to hide bags of cash all around the Fargo area for some lucky beneficiaries to find.

The amounts of cash in each bag will vary, but none of them could be considered to be a small sum of money. Apparently each person who finds a bag o’ cash will be “quite surprised” to see what they’ve found.

The IRS would like to remind each winner that local, state, and federal taxes will need to be paid on these amounts just as large casino winnings are subject to taxes.

Good luck to all and hopefully you (or someone who’s in a sharing mood with you) finds one of these cleverly hidden bags of large denomination federal reserve notes.

Red River Zoo Soon Adding One Large Triceratops

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If seeing is believing, then you can believe this! Please join us in welcoming Tari, the Triceratops.

Fargo, ND – In case you hadn’t heard, part of Jurassic Park will soon be coming to the Fargo Red River Zoo!

Because of the wide variety of extreme weather conditions in this region, the Fargo Zoo has been chosen to be the lucky home of a real live Triceratops dinosaur, whose name is Tari. Her full name is Tari Spector, which is from the re-arranging of all the letters in “Triceratops”.

The Triceratops type of dinosaur is one of thee most loved and recognizable of all dinosaurs and was originally named by the owner of a Greek restaurant because of its three (tri), horned (cera), face (tops).

Even though the Triceratops were originally believed to have become extinct about 66 million years ago, Tari is living proof that this was simply a false rumor, probably reported on some fake news websites.

This cute and friendly new addition to the Red River Zoo is strictly a herbivore, and because it only eats plant vegetation, it should not be a threat to gobble up any children. Instead, people of all ages will be able to feed Tari some of her favorite grasses and herbs by purchasing them from the Dino-Food vending machine. All of the profits from this vending machine will go directly to the “Save The Dinosaurs From Global Warming” program, which was started by Algore, after he invented the Internet.

Because of the unique challenges Tari brings with her, the Red River Zoo is frantically seeking to hire a few special zoo handlers for this lovable dinosaur. Past working experience with Triceratops would be a major plus for this job. If you think you have what it takes to handle Tari the Triceratops, please call the Red River Zoo to set up a formal interview.

Moorhead Family Found Living In A Pumpkin

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It’s actually quite comfortable living in here but we’re planning on adding an additional pumpkin for some more living space.

Moorhead, MN – It was recently discovered by the Moorhead Housing Authority that at least one Moorhead family has been living in a large pumpkin for months.

Margaret Butts, chairman of the MHA, stated: “T’was a real shocker when we learned that a whole family was headquartering out of a large pumpkin. They can’t be considered homeless because they do have a home.”

Some of the initial questions swirling around this story have been:

Why would a family be living in a pumpkin in Moorhead?

Can we expect more people to be found living in pumpkins the closer we get to Halloween?

Should pumpkin dwellers be taxed just as normal homes are?

Is this just more real fake news from the FMObserver or is it an authentic story like the Moorhead haunted house story?

All of these questions will be addressed at the next Moorhead city commission meeting. In the meantime, you are asked to go out and search for any other pumpkin dwellers who may be living in the area. Please report any findings by calling the main city phone line at 218.299.5166 and you will be routed to the Pumpkin Department.

Many Concerned About UFO Lights South Of Moorhead

UFO lights south of Moorhead almost a nightly occurrence.

UFO lights south of Moorhead almost a nightly occurrence. Where are they from? What do they want?

Moorhead, MN – Have you been seeing the unusual lights in the sky at night south of Moorhead? Have you and your family been wondering if they are real UFOs?

National UFO experts have now released an official statement from the National UFO Centre declaring that these “unusual lights” that have been showing up on a regular basis are indeed UFOs.

Multiple photographs taken with special digital lenses have proven that this is not a hoax.

Dr. Allen Greenman: “These UFOs are as real as real mayonnaise. Our only question now is why are they here and what do they want?”

Some Sabin residents are quite convinced that the alien ships are interested in having a high-level meeting with Senator Al Franken.

When asked why they believe that, their answer was: “Because we’ve seen banners hanging from the UFO windows saying that they are interested in having a high-level meeting with Senator Al Franken.”

Senator Franken was unavailable for comment but his answering machine did say: “Hi. If you’re calling about setting up a meeting with the Sabin UFOs, tell them I’m not interested, and that I no longer am a struggling comedian trying to make people laugh with silly jokes.”