Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War.
President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to lead our country’s fight against the latest spreading viral threat.
“As this Corona Virus is really starting to go viral, it totally makes sense to have the team of Leo, Mikey, Raph, and Donnie be on the front lines to battle this sick Corona Virus because these Super Turtles have a natural immunity to the Corona Virus,” tweets the president.
The FM Observer has also learned that one possible option on the table is for those who have contracted the Corona Virus to be placed in comfortable Governmental Sick Camps where they can be cared for by the Turtle Team, while being completely quarantined safely away from the rest of society.
Many find the marble bathrooms in the new ND Governor’s Residence to be very nice.
Bizmark, ND – Whether planned or unplanned is not certain at this juncture, but North Dakota’s new Governor’s Mansion looks like a highway rest area to many driving by.
Many a weary traveler going across the state have stopped at the new Executive Residence recently built for North Dakota’s Governor and have walked in to use the main floor bathroom facilities.
Some have even snooped into the kitchen fridge and played the lobby piano before continuing on with their journey.
The architect for the Executive Mansion was unavailable for comment, however he did text us back adamantly asking that we never send him another text again.
Besides looking like a highway rest area, others have likened the Executive Palace to a secretive bilateral nuclear bomb test shelter site.
But since the taxpayers of North Dakota own it because we paid for it, feel free to continue to stop and use it as a highway rest area, but please, only play the piano if you’re a certified trained professional.
We here at FECES are here to help you. Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services to the rescue!
Moorhead, MN – Summer means fun and family getogethers which can also lead to domestic disharmonies.
A new governMental agency called Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) is now here to help with an alphabet of problems including: altercations, brawls, conflicts, debates, eruptions, and fights.
If some serious disharmony breaks out during a gathering in your garage, at your lake cabin, or in a restaurant, just call Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) and they will professionally take care of your fecal matter.
When the shit hits the fan after the conversation turns to politics, climate change, or even gender fluidity, remember to immediately contact Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) to make sure everything comes out well in the end.