Tag Archives: turtle

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus

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Super heros to fight super virus!

Super heroes to fight super virus!

Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War.

President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to lead our country’s fight against the latest spreading viral threat.

“As this Corona Virus is really starting to go viral, it totally makes sense to have the team of Leo, Mikey, Raph, and Donnie be on the front lines to battle this sick Corona Virus because these Super Turtles have a natural immunity to the Corona Virus,” tweets the president.

The FM Observer has also learned that one possible option on the table is for those who have contracted the Corona Virus to be placed in comfortable Governmental Sick Camps where they can be cared for by the Turtle Team, while being completely quarantined safely away from the rest of society.

Minnesota’s Turtle Hunting Season Soon To Open

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Brave turtle hunters will soon begin their quest to kill a prize turtle.

Brave turtle hunters will soon begin their quest to kill a large turtle to make turtle soup.

Turtle River, MN – It’s almost that exciting time of year again when turtle hunters of all shapes and sizes come out of their shells and gear up to go turtle hunting.

Minnesota reports that a record number of turtle hunting licenses have been sold this year.

Last year nearly 90,000 turtles were harvested from Minnesota lakes, rivers, and swamps.

Mondo Chafley is the president of Turtles Unlimited: “Yah, me ready to go turtle huntin. Me wana make turtle soup for dah hole family.”

By participating in Minnesota’s annual turtle hunt, people can re-enact American history going way back to 1805:

The story goes that a popular British rock band named Lewis & Clark was on tour in Minnesota with their families. They enjoyed the sport of turtle hunting so much that their sons eventually went on the form the band “The Turtles” who topped the charts with their smash hit: “Happy Together”.