Recipes For Success

West Fargo Runners Admit To Drinking Mt. Dew Before Running 3-Minute Mile
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West Fargo Runners Admit To Drinking Mt. Dew Before Running 3-Minute Mile

August 9th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – After two West Fargo athletes broke the three-minute mile barrier, they both admitted to cheating by drinking a couple Mountain Dews prior to their record-breaking race. Zippy Blistad and Flasher Perkins...
Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change
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Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change

August 18th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Lochte Lomond, CA – Ryan Lochte who first reported that his hair changed color after becoming infected with the Zika Virus now admits that he personally dyed his hair while drunk at a gas station bathroom in Rio. After sobering...
Ryan Lochte Found Hiding In Swimming Pool
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Ryan Lochte Found Hiding In Swimming Pool

August 18th, 2016 | by Nick
Rochester, NY – Amidst controversy over statements made to A Polícia Brasileira, Ryan Lochte had been sought for questioning until today. With help, A Polícia Brasileira have located Lochte hiding in his favorite...
Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes
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Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes

August 4th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Rio, Braziliana – Unexpected opportunities for unlikely Olympic participants are being caused by Olympic qualifiers deciding to not go to the Rio Games due to Zikaphobia. After years of training, sacrificing, and qualifying for...
Scientists Warn: Sugarloaf Mountain Fermenting In Polluted Rio de Janeiro Bay
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Scientists Warn: Sugarloaf Mountain Fermenting In Polluted Rio de Janeiro Bay

August 3rd, 2016 | by Nick
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – Water pollution isn’t the only thing tainting the enchanting landscape of Rio de Janeiro, home of the 2016 Summer Olympics. Scientists now warn that the polluted Guanabara Bay in Rio is...
2016 Rio Olympics Being Moved To Zanzibar
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2016 Rio Olympics Being Moved To Zanzibar

June 3rd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Zanzibar City, Zanzibar – Since Rio de Janeiro is having such a plethora of problems including: a government meltdown, uncontrolled street violence, raw sewage in Guanabara Bay, an epic water shortage, and the zika virus,...
New Events Being Added To Winter Olympics
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New Events Being Added To Winter Olympics

January 21st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Sochi, Russia – Olympics officials have announced some new and exciting events that will make their international debut at the Sochi Winter Olympic Games. SnowCat Fights: Women from opposing countries try to run each other...
Russian 2014 Olympics To Be Celebration Of Gayness
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Russian 2014 Olympics To Be Celebration Of Gayness

August 8th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Sochi, Russia – As a strong sign to the international community that Russia is becoming more open and friendly, Russian leaders have let it be known that the upcoming 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi will, in part, be a giant...
Olympic Shame!  Live Raping In Front of Large Audience!
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Olympic Shame! Live Raping In Front of Large Audience!

August 6th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
London – The Olympics is a sports tradition that dates back thousands of years.  It’s a great honor to be a part of.  That is, unless you are getting raped in front of a large audience. That’s exactly what...
Amanda Smock Having A Hard Time Finding A Job After Recent News Coverage
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Amanda Smock Having A Hard Time Finding A Job After Recent News Coverage

July 2nd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Former North Dakota State University Amanda Smock won the triple jump at the U.S. Olympic Trials last Monday, June 25th. This great achievement has produced North Dakota State’s first United States...