Sir Elton John Is Buying The Fargo Theater
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Sir Elton John Is Buying The Fargo Theater

February 13th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Old Windsor, Berkshire – Through our London branch office, the FM Observer has just learned that Sir Elton John is purchasing the Fargo Theater. FMO: Mr. John, why did you want to buy the Fargo Theater, of all places? Sir...
Fargo Band Selected To Perform During Halftime Of Next Super Bowl
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Fargo Band Selected To Perform During Halftime Of Next Super Bowl

February 12th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The ever-popular Fargo band “Double Negative” has just been chosen to play during the halftime of Super Bowl 51! Even though the news came as quite a surprise, the seasoned band members all took it...
Harpist To Serenade Downtown Fargo Valentine’s Day Patrons
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Harpist To Serenade Downtown Fargo Valentine’s Day Patrons

February 12th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer is proud to announce a special treat for downtown Fargo this Valentine’s Day! The enchanting melodies of the soon-to-be infamous Broadway Harpist will serenade street-side onlookers this weekend....
Zen Poets Group To Protest That ‘Blank Lines Matter’
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Zen Poets Group To Protest That ‘Blank Lines Matter’

February 12th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Zenda, Wisconsin – A group of minimalist Zen monks are forming an official protest group called: Blank Lines Matter! As writers of Zen Koans and haikus, these humble Zen monks also believe that: Blank Lines Matter!...
Thin Man Found Living Inside Fargo Family’s Chair
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Thin Man Found Living Inside Fargo Family’s Chair

February 10th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In what police are calling a “very bizarre situation”, a thin elderly man was recently discovered to be living inside a Fargo family’s large comfy chair, which had been in the middle of their...
Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers
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Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers

February 6th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Effective immediately, the City of Moorhead will now be enforcing stringent new penalties for any and all households that do not recycle. Moorhead’s Recycling Czar Marv Hammerstone: “Some folks...
Horoscopes For The Week Of February 4, 2016
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Horoscopes For The Week Of February 4, 2016

February 3rd, 2016 | by Nina Verbena
Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram Take time to really enjoy the first half of your Superbowl party this weekend. It will become a cherished memory of how good your life was before “The Buffalo Wing...
FM Observer Secures Naming Rights For Blue Post-it Notes
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FM Observer Secures Naming Rights For Blue Post-it Notes

February 3rd, 2016 | by Nick
Temecula, CA—A much-anticipated blockbuster deal has been finalized. After extensive negotiations, the FM Observer has inked a lucrative branding contract with popular sticky note manufacturer Post-It. For the next decade,...
Frack Lives Matter Movement Galvanizes In Western North Dakota
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Frack Lives Matter Movement Galvanizes In Western North Dakota

February 2nd, 2016 | by Nina Verbena
Williston, ND – With oil prices tumbling and jobs disappearing, western North Dakotans are channeling their frustration into a powerful, singular message: Frack Lives Matter. Spokesperson Ole Baryll says the once booming...
New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck
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New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck

February 1st, 2016 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – For Immediate Release: Announcement: All of the new North Dakota ‘Sunrise’ license plates are being immediately recalled because: The fonts suck! FMO: Hello? Could you please be a little more...