Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow
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Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow

September 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
Todd Rundgren Opens Moorhead Concert With A Prayer For President Trump
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Todd Rundgren Opens Moorhead Concert With A Prayer For President Trump

September 12th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Many who attended the Yes/Todd Rundgren concert were pleasantly delighted when Mr. Rundgren opened the concert with a nice long Hawaiian prayer for President Donald Trump. Unfortunately, they were not...
Man Claims He Simply Forgot To Get Dressed After Walking Into His Workplace Naked
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Man Claims He Simply Forgot To Get Dressed After Walking Into His Workplace Naked

September 11th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Terando Kwak got quickly arrested after walking into his place of employment totally stark naked on Monday. Terando tried explaining to police officers that he simply forgot to get dressed that morning as he had...
Hurricane Limbaugh Set To Wreak Havoc On Liberal Media
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Hurricane Limbaugh Set To Wreak Havoc On Liberal Media

September 6th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Palm Beach, FL – After Rush Limbaugh suggested that Hurricane Irma is merely a liberal hoax, Hurricane Limbaugh suddenly popped up in its place and is expected to stir things up on the mainland. Obviously caused by climate...
Fargo American Idol Audition Winner Lied About Age
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Fargo American Idol Audition Winner Lied About Age

September 6th, 2017 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Auditions for the hit game show American Idol took a pit stop in Fargo today with much ado. Both young and old, women and men from parts known and unknown came forth to profess their talents to a small array of...
Minnesota Raising Legal Cigarette Smoking Age To Fifty
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Minnesota Raising Legal Cigarette Smoking Age To Fifty

September 1st, 2017 | by Johnnny
St. Paul, MN – In what many consider to be a bold move, Minnesota is upping the minimum legal age to smoke cigarettes to fifty (50). “Yes, we believe this is the right thing to do, so this is the reason why we are...
President Trump To Vacation In Fargo
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President Trump To Vacation In Fargo

August 23rd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – President Trump has announced that he and his first family will be vacationing in Fargo, North Dakota sometime in the near future, but is giving few details about the presidential trip. The President has...
Solar Eclipse Cancelled As Some Find It To Be Offensive
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Solar Eclipse Cancelled As Some Find It To Be Offensive

August 21st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Sunbeam, Idaho – So as to not be offensive to people of certain religious beliefs, the solar eclipse has been cancelled by federal and state authorities. While statues of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are being...
National Coffee Shortage Causing Companies To Hoard The ‘Fuel Of Business’
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National Coffee Shortage Causing Companies To Hoard The ‘Fuel Of Business’

August 17th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Coffee City, TX – Large and small businesses all across America have begun to hoard coffee in anticipation of a nation-wide shortage due to Global Warming due to Algore’s changing climate. With coffee in short supply,...
West Fargo Library Being Closed For Displaying Books
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West Fargo Library Being Closed For Displaying Books

August 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – The West Fargo Library was recently notified that the facility will sadly be shut down at the end of the month for having displayed books within the library. The Federal Library Administration Board (FLAB)...