Fargo, ND – Our email address firstname.lastname@example.org has been getting its ass kicked by SPAM lately and our receptionist Blenda has been unable to keep up. Between sifting through the seemingly constant flow of corporate buyout and advertising requests, she’s simply not able to sarcastically fulfill each and every Nigerian prince’s donation inquiry in a timely manner because we at FM Observer will be damned if we let one zany SPAM email go unanswered.
Are you familiar with SPAM email? Silly question–of course you are. Who hasn’t taken a leisurely dip into the cesspool that is their SPAM inbox, if only for pure amazement? Next question: do you consider yourself a smart Alec? A silly Sammy? A snarky Susan? If you answered yes to these, you’re the right person for the job.
One lucky Larry will be assigned the unending task of replying hilariously to every SPAM email email@example.com gets. This position can be highly amusing for the right candidate. You will engage the sender in hilarious-yet-offputting banter until the sender becomes infuriated to the point of blocking you.
Successful applicants must undergo Trump-inspired “serious vetting” prior to enlistment in this permanent part-time temporary project. Terms of employment will be discussed during vetting. Come prepared.
FM Observer correspondent Skint Boobidoo, III has already applied so your chances of landing the gig are very limited, but do try anyway. Leave your credentials in the comments section and we’ll consider hiring you instead of Skint.