Superman Trump Single-Handedly Saves Puerto Rico By Tossing Out Paper Towels

October 4th, 2017 | by Johnnny

President Trump tossing out rolls of paper towels with amazing accuracy just like basketballs.

Puerto Rico – Somewhere out on a small piece of land surrounded by big ocean water, President Trump supermanishly saved the ailing island of Puerto Rico by tossing out cylindrical rolls of much needed paper towels almost as if they were round basketballs being swished through the hoop of a Michael Jordan free throw.

Everyone present agreed that President Trump’s expertise with which he threw out the paper towels was amazing, indicating that he must have practiced it back in the Oval Office prior to leaving for the hurricane-ravaged U.S. territory.

One elderly Puerto Rican lady who got hit in the head with a roll of presidential paper towels just laughed it off and said she was just glad it wasn’t a heavy jug of much needed fresh drinking water which her family hasn’t had for a fortnight. She also joked in Spanish saying that instead of Trump Tower, she now has a Trump Towel!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.