Tag Archives: winter

Local Service Clubs Helping To Make Snow Forts For The Homeless

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The Snow Forts For The Homeless program is a winter win/win!

Fargo, ND – All of the service clubs in the Fargo-Moorhead area are joining forces to help the homeless during the cold winter months.

Dr. Whit Emerson, who is currently serving as president of the Friendly Raccoons service club, suggested the idea of building snow forts for the homeless to his friend Mister Howen.

These two remarkable men have now consolidated the collective energy of all the service clubs in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area with the single goal of providing each and every one of the area’s homeless population with a home, at least until Spring when they melt.

Amazingly, all of the letters in both Whit Emerson and Mister Howen can be re-arranged to spell: Winter Homes!

Stevie Wonder Comes To Fargo To Do Some Snowmobiling

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Stevie Wonder on a snowmobile in Fargo!

Fargo, ND – You may have recently heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder was coming to Fargo to go snowmobiling.

Well, Mama, that ain’t no rumor!

After Sir Elton John publicly offered Stevie Wonder the use of one of his snowmobiles, Stevie decided to take Elton up on his offer and finally get that item checked off his Bucket List!

Stevie Wonder: “I have always wanted to go snowmobiling in Fargo, North Dakota and breathe the wild winter air while driving a snowmobile, all by myself.”

Some reasons why Fargo was chosen for Stevie Wonder’s snowmobile outing were its flatness of earth and its dearth of trees, both of which are salient for Stevie’s snowmobiling safety.

International Snow Baron To Finally Visit Fargo

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The mighty Snow Baron, in full garb. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong: NO, this isn’t the Night King from Game of Thrones. Look closer–It is clearly the Snow Baron.

Fargo, ND – It was only after a mere fifty inches of winter precip that one of the most revered snow gurus alive finally took notice. Baron Von Jeric Tedlam of the Great Siberian North, Biter Of Frost and Freezer Of Vein, has scheduled a visit to our fair city this 10th day of March, on the tail of yet another blizzard.

The Snow Baron plans to revel in a new snowfall during what he now considers a “most insidious” Fargo winter. “Be it a bountiful showing of ice and frost? It beckons for ye Baron. Harken the call of the great snownami: her winds whisper Tedlam.”

No surprise that Siberia claims home to the world’s only Snow Baron.

The Observer plans to welcome the Baron as he makes his triumphant entrance upon his magical Tundra Chariot. If you can’t deal with that, don’t come to the FMO HQ roof top this Sunday at high noon. If he is impressed with our snowiness (which without a doubt he should be) there is speculation that he will hold presidential roost here until the Spring Equinox. Yay.

Top Ten Winter Words North Dakotans Are Getting Really Sick Of

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Fargoans have really gotten to hate the word Arctic.

Fargo, ND – Our FM Observer reporters fanned out across the region to knock on doors asking people what winter words they are getting most tired of hearing.

After doing so, we then empirically compiled the comprehensive list into a scientific study.

We believe it is totally scientific because we used the word empirical.

What follows is a scientific poll of the Top Ten words or phrases that people living in this region are getting really sick of hearing:

10. Winter Snowstorm
9. Frizzle
8. Alberta Clipper
7. Pre-Shoveling
6. Snownami*
5. Windchill Factor
4. Black Ice
3. Blizzard Warning
2. Polar Vortex
1. Arctic

* Snownami is the scientific word for the large ridge of snow left at the end of driveways after the street plows come by to do their due diligence.

Long Cold Winter Starting To Take Its Effect On Normal People

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At the beginning of winter, this person was just a normal looking guy.

Fargo, ND – Are you starting to feel the negative effects of winter? Do normally easy small tasks seem bigly challenging?

Maybe you’re suffering from WHAKOH like most other people living in Fargo. WHAKOH stands for: Winter Hits All Kind Of Hard.

If the idea of going to the grocery store to get a few basic items feels like you’re preparing to cross Antarctica by sled, you have a case of WHAKOH.

If having to do any snow blowing or shoveling feels tantamount to getting a root canal, you are going WHAKOH.

Our very own Dr. Willy Nilly suggests joining a square dancing group or take regular trips to any of the local liquor stores.

Also, marking the days (or even the hours) off on a large calendar sometimes helps to visually remind you that winter will some day be over.

Indian Summer Celebrated By Many Even Though It’s No Longer Politically Correct

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Indian Summer is one last chance to enjoy summer and prepare for winter.

Summerset, SD – It’s what many in our area have long been waiting and hoping for, and now it’s finally arriving: Indian Summer!

For any employed workers who are lucky enough to have some extra vacation days, it’s a chance to get some final sun on one’s face while perhaps sipping an adult beverage out on the deck.

After we’ve already had a killing frost (and a winter storm), it’s one final time to breathe the last of the warm summer air before heading into the long and dark cold winter months.

The old politically incorrect name for it is Indian Summer while the new hip PC term is now Global Warming.

Indian Summer originally got its name from an old 1919 song by Victor Herbert which helped remind the Indians to get out and add some extra layers of warmth to the outside of their teepees while doing their good-bye dance to summer and happily celebrating a temporary postponement of winter.

Today, it’s more of a chance to tidy up the hoses, get down the snow shovels, put up your Christmas lights, and for street crews to quickly finish up all those road construction projects.

Next Olympic Winter Games To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

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The new F-M Curling Club was the deciding factor to have the next Winter Olympic Games in Fargo.

Fargo, ND – The city of Fargo has been abuzz ever since the International Olympic Committee announced that Fargo, North Dakota will host the next Winter Games.

When Fargo first bid for the Winter Olympic Games, most people ridiculed the idea as fake news, and laughed until they cried.

It turns out that in Fargo, the I.O.C. found everything it was looking for in a Winter Games host city.

From their official announcement statement: “Fargo, North Dakota is a paragon-perfect poster-child place that can host the next Winter Games cost-effectively, logically, efficiently, and safely. Plus, Fargo has a lot of fine restaurants and places to drink mass quantities of bier.”

One insider leaked that Fargo’s new, state-of-the-art Curling Club was one of the main reasons Fargo was chosen to host the next Winter Olympix, since curling has now become the #1 favorite spectator event of The Winter Games.

During this leak, the leaker also mentioned that the only real thing Fargo will have to do to prepare for The Games is create some good-sized mountains, possibly from all the dirt that will soon be excavated for the Red River Diversion.

FMO Recommends Doing Some Pre-Shoveling Prior To Any Winter Storm

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Pre-shoveling just makes sense!

West Fargo, ND – One tip the FM Observer would like to share with our beloved readers is to get out and do some pre-shoveling prior to a winter storm.

What is pre-shoveling, you may ask?

Pre-shoveling is proactively doing some of the inevitable after-storm shoveling that you’ll have to do…but prior to the snow event.

Not only is it much easier than post-storm shoveling, but it will also impress your neighbors, and show them that you care and that you read the FM Observer.

Blaine Rizbain, who recently moved to Fargo: “Now that I’ve tried doing some pre-shoveling, I am totally hooked, not only because I have an addictive personality but because it just makes sense, plus it’s a good way to meet some neighbors.“

Pre-shoveling is also a good idea prior to the first snow storm of the year because it will help you locate your shoveling equipment which is prolly still up in your attic next to your Christmas tree stand.

An Online Christmas Card You Can Send To A Friend

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Merry Christmas to whomever you are!

As we gather round the Christmas tree,
Which was chopped and flocked for you and me,
We nibble on some scones and sip Chablis,
While outside it’s a dangerous one degree.

All the nicely wrapped presents that we see,
Are a result of that black friday shopping spree.
Why get one when you can afford to buy three,
Of those red candles scented with potpourri?

Christmas is a fun time of family glee,
Enhanced on Facebook with hyperbole.
Rather than giving each person a new CD,
Tis way more awesome to get a real pony!

One might suggest getting some activity,
Perhaps head out and go cross country ski.
But most would likely have to agree,
They’d rather watch football on NBC.