Tag Archives: dilworth

Howard Donson Lodging and Entertainment Destination Opens In Downtown Dilworth

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MirrorBar: A major part of the new and improved Howard Dohnson Lodging and Entertainment Destination®

Dilworth, MN – Perhaps you’ve noticed all that construction/reconstruction/deconstruction and goings on at what was once the Howard Johnson Motel in Dilworth? That’s a good eye, you have. The site has undergone significant renovations in recent months, transforming into what is now known as the Howard Donson Lodging and Entertainment Destination®, which, for the purposes of this writing, will now be referenced as HD-LED.

MirrorBar also has a meticulously crafted M-shaped bar destined to confuse the dyslexic.

HD-LED brings a one-of-a-kind stay-and-play complete with sleepable rooms and a classy lounge titled MirrorBar. MirrorBar, their main attraction, mainly attracts women and men using enticing visuals. Take this excerpt from one of their TV commercial promos you might’ve seen broadcast on channel 8:

As part of the Howard Donson Lodging and Entertainment Destination, MirrorBar invites you to a pleasantly unique nighttime experience featuring a scintillating sequence of reflective surfaces. Sit up, sit down. Sit all around. MirrorBar goes on forever. Stop by and stay on your way out of town. MirrorBar.

Khanton Danzig, Dilworth Planning and Zoning Commissioner, seems excited to have class clientele patronize the town’s new crown jewel. “Just what Dilworth needed: a destination spot that can instantly level the playing field with downtown Moorhead.”

MirrorBar’s happy hour runs 4:00-6:00 every weekday featuring 1/2 price domestics, eight dollar wells and four dollar you-call-its.

Glyndon MN Considering Covering Entire Town With A Clear Dome

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This will be how Glyndon, MN will soon look if Jesper Søndergaard has anything to say about it.

Glyndon, MN – The quaint town of Glyndon which is often merely thought of as a suburb of Dilworth will possibly soon be covered with a good-sized clear plastic dome thus making it one of the largest greenhouses in the world.

This most interesting idea is the brainchild of Jesper Søndergaard, a Glyndon resident, who has real experience with this type of concept as he has actually done it in the South Swedish highlands (Sydsvenska höglandet) of his home country of Sweden.

Jesper såger: “Yah, I think after Glyndon gets used to being covered by a dome like we did over in Sweden there, people hier will really start to see the benefits of it. Climate change will basically be totally negated, not to mention no more blizzards, even tho I just did.”

In Swedish, the word for a dome is en kupol. To cover something is omslag, and stad is obviously their word for town. So, putting it all together now: Jesper Søndergaard would like to omslag the stad of Glyndon with en kupol!

There will be an informational townhall meeting on this impotent subject where citizens of the quaint town of Glyndon can learn more and ask questions.

Mr. Søndergaard wants folks to know that “Det finns något sådant som en kupol fråga”, which roughly translates into: “There’s no such thing as a dome question!”

Dilworth Fire Chief

Dilworth Fire Chief says, “I’m pretty sure it’s totaled.”

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Let me show you somethin!

Dilworth, MN – A home being constructed in northeast Dilworth caught on fire this morning.  Workers on site reported the fire and thankfully nobody was hurt.  “I’m pretty sure it’s totaled,” Dilworth fire chief said.

When asked to please elaborate more he said, “Well..fire hot.  Fire burn things.  You see that wall?  It’s burnt to shit.  You see that other wall?  It’s also burned to shit.  I’m no NASA engineer but my best guess would be that that house right there is probably burnt to shit.”  The blaze was initially called in as an electrical fire but it is still under investigation.

 

A man wearing a hat similar to the one below was seen around the neighborhood at the time of the fire.