Janet Reno Named New Vikings Special Teams Coach
News
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Janet Reno Named New Vikings Special Teams Coach

July 31st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Mankato, MN – Former Attorney General Janet Reno has been named the new Special Teams coach for the Minnesota Vikings. Just as she was the first woman to serve as the United States Attorney General, she will also be the...
National Football League: NFC NORTH PREVIEW
NFL
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National Football League: NFC NORTH PREVIEW

July 30th, 2014 | by Nick
VIKINGS – With training camp and the NFL preseason in full swing, the National Football League Vikings of Minnesota are looking poised for a breakout 2014 season. The Observer predicts that the Purple People Eaters will...
Dr. Willy Nilly Discusses Living With Phlebitis
Editorial
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Dr. Willy Nilly Discusses Living With Phlebitis

July 27th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Dr. Willy Nilly MD is an expert in disease-carrying ticks as we have recently seen. The FMO’s doctor friend would now also like to share some tips and tricks for folks who suffer from phlebitis. FMO: Dr....
North Dakota Gets 1 Of 8 Newly Added NFL Teams
News
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North Dakota Gets 1 Of 8 Newly Added NFL Teams

July 25th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – North Dakota is excited by the NFL’s announcement that it has landed one of eight new team franchises. The latest NFL expansion is adding one team to each of its eight divisions. The North Dakota...
Colorblind Mom Leaves Daycare With Fake Plastic Infant
Local
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Colorblind Mom Leaves Daycare With Fake Plastic Infant

July 24th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—It was supposed to be just another Wednesday afternoon for a Fargo mom. Frosha VanTinkle, a colorblind, drove to Scabby Trail Daycare like usual to pick up her infant daughter Spyler. What happened next may shock...
Sir Paul McCartney Coming Back To Fargo For Another Concert
Entertainment
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Sir Paul McCartney Coming Back To Fargo For Another Concert

July 23rd, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Apparently Paul McCartney enjoyed playing his music in Fargo so much, that he’s coming back for an encore concert. “Yah, I really got a kick out of Fargo, so we decided to do it again, yah...
Dr. Pepper Sued For Malpractice
Local
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Dr. Pepper Sued For Malpractice

July 22nd, 2014 | by Nick
Dr. Pepper is headed to court. Fargo, ND—A former patient of local necrosurgeon Dr. Qance Pepper, M.D. is suing for malpractice due to what he’s calling a botched necroplasty. The plaintiff, Sextin Growshaft, is...
WE Fest Cancelled Due To Massive Disease-Carrying Tick Invasion
Entertainment
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WE Fest Cancelled Due To Massive Disease-Carrying Tick Invasion

July 19th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Detroit Lakes, MN – The drunkenly popular WE Fest celebration of country music at the Soo Pass Ranch has been cancelled for 2014 due to serious health concerns. The annual outdoor music festival was scheduled for August...
Fargo Man to Keep Vacation Beard Going
Local
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Fargo Man to Keep Vacation Beard Going

July 18th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Local resident Qace Zombytakle has returned from a shaveless vacation, and he’s found himself relatively pleased with his resulting facial hair ensemble. So much so, he’s decided to keep rockin’...
Butterfinger Cancels “Official Candy Bar Of The Russian Army” Contract
National
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Butterfinger Cancels “Official Candy Bar Of The Russian Army” Contract

July 17th, 2014 | by Kitz
Geneva, Switzerland – Following the crash of Malaysian flight MH-17 over eastern Ukraine Thursday, Nestle’s Butterfinger brand has cancelled its lucrative contract with Russia’s Military as the “Official...