Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have
National
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Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have

November 26th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – With the help of the CDC (Centre for Disease Control), Big Government will soon be organizing communities into groups of people based on what diseases we have. Since Big Government already has access to all...
Exceedingly Mediocre Restaurant Tip Goes Viral
Local
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Exceedingly Mediocre Restaurant Tip Goes Viral

November 26th, 2014 | by Sam Wigness
Coon Rapids, Minn. — Applebee’s waitress Nicole MaHobbes’s Tuesday night shift ended in misery after she received a tip so extremely average that it could only be explained as “an obvious insult.”...
From The Archives: Man Trapped In Woman’s Body Yearns For Freedom
News
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From The Archives: Man Trapped In Woman’s Body Yearns For Freedom

November 24th, 2014 | by Nick
News of yore, dated 14th June, Eighteen Hundred and Ninety-Five Fargo, ND—Local cowboy Theddy Crumpsmith longs to be free, the Observer has learned. Crumpsmith is suffering from a disorder not well known to mankind; one...
Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police
Local
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Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police

November 20th, 2014 | by Kitz
Fargo, ND – Police in Fargo say a recent uptick in disturbance calls can be attributed to the growing popularity of marijuana-scented candles. Dispatchers estimate they have received approximately 420 complaints about...
Ray Rice Challenges Any Woman To Fight Him In An Elevator
ACTION
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Ray Rice Challenges Any Woman To Fight Him In An Elevator

November 20th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Baltimore, Maryland – Short on cash since he was banned from football, Ray Rice has challenged any woman to fight him in a casino elevator. The former Baltimore Ravens running back says he is not afraid to fight any woman...
BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock
Local
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BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock

November 18th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer would like to regretfully inform you that your mortal soul, however puny and insignificant it may be, now belongs to this devious warlock. Yes, you’re really screwed now. It was this whispering...
The FM Observer Asks: Is Your Collection Of Celebrity Nude Pics Secure?
Celebrity
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The FM Observer Asks: Is Your Collection Of Celebrity Nude Pics Secure?

November 16th, 2014 | by Nick
In light of the recent celebrity iCloud photo leak disgustingly titled The Fappening, the Observer would like to know exactly what you’re doing to keep your newly acquired treasure trove of Jennifer Lawrence/Kate Upton/Kim...
Sign Up Now For Exciting Parade Of Hoarder Homes
Local
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Sign Up Now For Exciting Parade Of Hoarder Homes

November 15th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – With hoarding starting to become rather chic, Fargo is excited to announce its First Annual Parade Of Hoarder Homes. Parade president Irv Sheik says: “We’re looking for some major hoarders who might...
“Yay, Another New Phonebook, Just What I Needed!” Said Nobody
Editorial
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“Yay, Another New Phonebook, Just What I Needed!” Said Nobody

November 14th, 2014 | by Kitz
Everywhere, USA – Over the last decade, nearly every facet of our society has embraced the concept of going paperless. We’re encouraged – sometimes downright shamed – to reduce our paper waste by doing...
Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars
Local
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Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars

November 12th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Knife Lake, MN – A young boy named Bruce had just finished drinking some juice when he saw in the air a goose which lately had a tendency to overproduce. So young Bruce decided to try and shoot the goose on the loose. He...