Recipes For Success

Police Dog Licks Man To Death
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Police Dog Licks Man To Death

April 2nd, 2019 | by Johnnny
Lickota, ND – A man was reportedly licked to death while attending a police Meet and Greet social event. The man, whose name is not being released until his family is notified, was identified as Mucciolo Knight from...
Another Autumn Golfer Nailed By A Distracted Driver-Driven Golf Cart?
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Another Autumn Golfer Nailed By A Distracted Driver-Driven Golf Cart?

October 7th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – During a relatively relaxing autumn round of par-free golf, Mr. Gotlib Haycraft was suddenly hit by a golf cart while trying to hit his tee shot on the par 3 seventh hole at the new Bogie Man Golf Course in...
So-Called Feng Shui Burglar Breaks Into Homes Only To Re-Arrange The Furniture
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So-Called Feng Shui Burglar Breaks Into Homes Only To Re-Arrange The Furniture

May 29th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Some home owners in South Fargo have recently been reporting having had their homes broken into, but nothing was stolen. In each and every similar instance, these home break-ins resulted in re-arranged...
Moorhead Couple Caught With 800 Pounds Of Qiameth Worth An Estimated $2.4 Billion
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Moorhead Couple Caught With 800 Pounds Of Qiameth Worth An Estimated $2.4 Billion

November 2nd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Police in the quirky town of Moorhead were very surprised to find 800 pounds of Qiameth in the trunk of a car that they found parked at a stop sign. The Qiameth, which is known to be 1,000 times more powerful...
Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow
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Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow

September 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
Fargo Downtowner Arrested For Repeated Dawdlings
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Fargo Downtowner Arrested For Repeated Dawdlings

March 17th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Nyork Slocco, who calls the general downtown Fargo area his home, was arrested by police for “dawdling“. “No man! You got it all wrong. I was in no way dawdling! Dallying a bit maybe, yes, but...
FM Area To Begin Spraying For Gadflies
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FM Area To Begin Spraying For Gadflies

March 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Aerial sprayers working in conjunction with NDSU bugologists will be taking their fight to the gadfly population this summer, along with the other usual suspects: mosquitoes. The gadfly (pronounced: gad-fly),...
Moorhead Couple Spends Valentine’s Evening Together In Jail After Being Arrested For Disrespecting An Officer
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Moorhead Couple Spends Valentine’s Evening Together In Jail After Being Arrested For Disrespecting An Officer

February 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Trelga and Nevron Broomstad simply wanted to go eat out at one of Moorhead’s finer restaurants on Valentine’s Day and then perhaps head back home to snuggle and maybe watch some reruns of reruns...
Man Found Living Inside Fargo Piano
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Man Found Living Inside Fargo Piano

December 13th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Unbeknownst to the residents of a Fargo apartment, a man was found living inside their upright piano. Needless to say, the residents are “kind of freaking out” about the whole situation, say police...
Police Turkeys Helping Moorhead Police Solve Crimes
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Police Turkeys Helping Moorhead Police Solve Crimes

September 16th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – If you see small groups of turkeys along the Red River in Moorhead, chances are the police will not be far behind. Moorhead Police are now using domesticated, trained wild turkeys to solve many heretofore...