Tag Archives: television

“Days Of Our Lives” Soap Opera Being Replaced By Another Called “Endless Impeachment”

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Endless Impeachment will now be taking the place of Days of Our Lives

Washington, DC – Sadly, the long-running soap opera Days Of Our Lives which began in 1965 will soon be terminating due to lack of interest.

However, in its place will be another long-running soap opera called Endless Impeachment which does not suffer from a lack of interest.

Unlike Days Of Our Lives which was an hour-long show just on week days, Endless Impeachment will run 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

President Trump tweeted that he is looking forward to watching Endless Impeachment when he isn’t busy golfing, but thinks the show should instead be called Creatures From The Swamp!

New Game Show Called “Double Jeopardy” Features Twins Acquitted Of A Crime But Then Tried Again For Exact Same Crime

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Double Jeopardy is a double hit!

Hollywood, CA – A new game show is being added to your “must-see” TV entertainment line-up and it’s called Double Jeopardy!

It is part game show and part court-room drama in which twins once acquitted of a crime are possibly retried for the same crime.

The host of the new show is Mr. Perky Parker: “Double Jeopardy is really going to be a great show! I hope you and your entire family watch it every week so I can keep my job during this down-tick in the stock market.”

If you’re a pair of twins who were once acquitted of a crime, and would like to be on the show for a chance to win some taxable cash, simply contact Mr. Perky Parker and have all your relevant information handy.

Oh, and don’t forget to tune in to watch Double Jeopardy!

Top Ten Things To Do Instead Of Watching The Super Bowl

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In case you don’t feel like watching the Super Bowl, there are some great alternatives.

Fargo, ND – If you’re looking for some fun and different options to do whilst everyone else in the world is watching the Super Bowl ads, we have thoughtfully surveyed the greater Fargo-Moorhead area to come up with some great alternatives for you, boiled down into one short convenient list:

10. Host an Anti-Super Bowl party and watch CNN.

9. Paint your interior walls with a wild jungle scene.

8. Volunteer to work as a bouncer at a local soup kitchen.

7. Go pick out your next pet(s) at the Humane Society.

6. Do comparison price shopping at different grocery stores.

5. Organize all your belongings alphabetically into boxes labeled A-Z.

4. Go door-to-door and ask people what they’re doing?

3. Read the Book of Revelation out loud and then meditate.

2. Discuss the Nunes memo with close friends and family.

1. Watch the Puppy Bowl on the Animal Planet channel.

Moorhead Couple Spends Valentine’s Evening Together In Jail After Being Arrested For Disrespecting An Officer

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Jail runs out of cupcakes on Valentine’s Day.

Moorhead, MN – Trelga and Nevron Broomstad simply wanted to go eat out at one of Moorhead’s finer restaurants on Valentine’s Day and then perhaps head back home to snuggle and maybe watch some reruns of reruns on television.

Unfortunately, on their way home, the Broomstads got pulled over by a Moorhead police officer for having a Trump/Pence bumper sticker on the back of their vehicle.

The two were quickly handcuffed and driven off in the back of an unmarked police van to spend the long night in jail for disrespecting an officer.

Their bumper-stickered car was impounded and trash-compacted into a dense cubic foot of scrap metal and then loaded onto a ship headed to China.

While sitting in separate jail cells, Trelga and Nevron Broomstad were each to be given a Valentine’s Day cupcake along with all the other inmates but there were not quite enough to go around so the two were left with no Valentine’s Day cupcakes but they were allowed to watch some reruns of reruns on the television.

Moral of the story: Select your bumper stickers wisely.

FMO Launching FMO-TV From New FMO Corporate Headquarters

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Say hello to the brand new FMO Corporate Headquarters! The new home of FMO-TV.

West Fargo, ND – After weeks of around-the-clock construction, the new FM Observer corporate headquarters is finally done.

This will not only be the main offices of your favorite FMObserver.com but will also be the exciting new home of FMO Television. FMO-TV will soon be coming into your home and will focus on all things Fargo-Moorhead. Think of it as being the TV version of FMObserver.com.

FMO-TV is now seeking talent and content from anyone interested in possibly being involved in having their own local talk show, be apart of our own reality TV series, or perhaps host your very own cooking or how-to program. Please send in emails and videos so that we can include you for consideration to get in on the ground floor of something big. Donald Trump said: “This is going to be HUGE!”

Free guided tours will be offered for only a $10 handling fee.

Eat in our Blue Plate Cafeteria which will be open for public consumption. All pay-per-item selections will be made from scratch using only the best organic ingredients.

The top floor Brainstormer Bar will have various serve-yourself adult-beverage drink fountains such as Mike’s Lemonade and will feature live local music nightly from 9PM – 3AM.

Work out in the FMO Fitness Centre & Spa which also houses a small food court that includes a Mini-McDonald’s restaurant and a Krispy Kreme Donut Shoppe.

Thank you for helping FM Observer become the official website of the Fargo-Moorhead area. Please consider becoming part of our family and hosting or producing your own television show. If you’re doing something you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

What Year Is It? Is That The NDSU Bison Football Team On TV?

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Fargo, ND – Another weekend of NDSU football is here.  People all over the Fargo-Moorhead area are hunkering down in their warm homes to watch the NDSU Bison try and win another football game.

So here you are.  You probably got two pounds of chili to tear through, five varieties of chip dips to eat, and other things cooking on the grill.  Your friends are all over, mom and dad stopped by, hell even grandma and grandpa came back down from heaven to watch the game with you.  Everything is looking like it’s going to be a great day to watch Bison football.  That is, until you turn on the television.  You look over to see grandma squinting at the television as she asks, “Is that bull riding on the television?  I can’t…..really……..see anything.”

“Are we about to play Tecmo Bowl?” my brother asks.

It is then you realize that you are staring straight into the year 1990.  Did you slip into a vortex and time travel back to 1990?  Likely not.  The broadcast is being beamed to you in standard definition and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.  Now instead of sitting around the room with your legs sprawled out and nacho cheese on your pregnant looking belly, everyone in the room has to huddle in front of the television to see what is actually going on.  Goodbye eyes.  Didn’t need you anyways.

Maybe next time you should just just show up at the dome and demand to be let in.  State that you are the Bison Thunder God and are here to bring happiness, joy, and pixels for everyone.  Or, drive on over to the head office at NDSU and hand them your bill from the eye doctor.

 

‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons. Suicides up 80%.

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NEW YORK, NY – The ever so popular unpopular show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” just got renewed for 3 more seasons.  Seriously, people still watch this vile garbage?  E! Entertainment network, another great network that endorses all the American values we love, has reached a deal making it the richest contract in reality TV history.  The family will be paid over $40 million for the 3 seasons of doing absolutely nothing but being annoying.  I’m not a hater but when this vile garbage is accidentally beamed into my retinas because I was channel surfing, I have every right to state my opinion.

Although this is all good news for the Kardashians, it isn’t good news for America.  Suicide rates have sky rocketed up 80% since the series premiered on E! in October 2007.  Experts are reporting that this is directly related to the torture people have had to endure the past 5 years with having “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” on air.  We took to the streets to see if we could find a correlation.

“I once accidentally stumbled on the show and Kim Kardashian was complaining of how tough of a day she had.  She got paid a few months salary for 6 hours of hell she had to go through which was taking pictures and putting on makeup.  I immediately ran out to my deck and threw myself off of it.  I mean, I didn’t mean to do it.  I just acted off of instinct.  I luckily only suffered a few broken bones.” a mother of 3 stated.

“I once had to watch the show because of my stupid girlfriend.  Kim was crying because of spiders.  I mean FUCK!  It made me immediately take my clothes off and throw myself into the oven I had on.  I suffered 3rd degree burns but I survived.  I immediately dumped my girlfriend after the incident.” John from Fargo told us.

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“Yea I turned the channel, saw the Kardashians, and immediately shot myself in the face.  This all happened within seconds.  Luckily it didn’t hit my brain and I’m here to talk about it.” guy who shot himself and survived had to say.

It’s pretty clear that this show is dangerous and shouldn’t be on the airwaves.  It is making people instinctively do stupid and unsafe things.  It better be taken down now before Kanye West makes an appearance on the show.  The human population will become dangerously low with an even larger increase of suicides.

Way to go America.  GOD HELP US ALL.