Fargo, ND – Another weekend of NDSU football is here. People all over the Fargo-Moorhead area are hunkering down in their warm homes to watch the NDSU Bison try and win another football game.
So here you are. You probably got two pounds of chili to tear through, five varieties of chip dips to eat, and other things cooking on the grill. Your friends are all over, mom and dad stopped by, hell even grandma and grandpa came back down from heaven to watch the game with you. Everything is looking like it’s going to be a great day to watch Bison football. That is, until you turn on the television. You look over to see grandma squinting at the television as she asks, “Is that bull riding on the television? I can’t…..really……..see anything.”
It is then you realize that you are staring straight into the year 1990. Did you slip into a vortex and time travel back to 1990? Likely not. The broadcast is being beamed to you in standard definition and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Now instead of sitting around the room with your legs sprawled out and nacho cheese on your pregnant looking belly, everyone in the room has to huddle in front of the television to see what is actually going on. Goodbye eyes. Didn’t need you anyways.
Maybe next time you should just just show up at the dome and demand to be let in. State that you are the Bison Thunder God and are here to bring happiness, joy, and pixels for everyone. Or, drive on over to the head office at NDSU and hand them your bill from the eye doctor.