Corpses Exhumed Due to Salmonella Recall

November 9th, 2012 | by Nick

Fargo, ND – A complete idiot at the Food and Drug Administration’s Fargo branch mis-typed a recall order yesterday which resulted in dead bodies being exhumed at Riverside Cemetery in South Fargo. The dumbass, having heard of the Nesquik salmonella recall, engaged the recall crew with an emergency bulletin:

::SALMONELLA RECALL. PLEASE REMOVE ALL SALMONELLA::

Crews sprang to action by heading to the nearest cemetery to recall as many salmonella deaths as possible in the time allotted. Graves were dug up and crusty old body parts were flung all over the place during the frantic search. The bumbling FDA grave-robbers didn’t know exactly who they were looking for; only that they were told to recall the salmonella.

This move is being deemed a colossal blunder on the FDA’s part. Loved ones of the dead, having heard of this desecration of their friends’ and relatives’ graves, are expected to file swift legal action.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.