Hollywood, CA – A new game show is being added to your “must-see” TV entertainment line-up and it’s called Double Jeopardy!
It is part game show and part court-room drama in which twins once acquitted of a crime are possibly retried for the same crime.
The host of the new show is Mr. Perky Parker: “Double Jeopardy is really going to be a great show! I hope you and your entire family watch it every week so I can keep my job during this down-tick in the stock market.”
If you’re a pair of twins who were once acquitted of a crime, and would like to be on the show for a chance to win some taxable cash, simply contact Mr. Perky Parker and have all your relevant information handy.
Oh, and don’t forget to tune in to watch Double Jeopardy!
Pro bowler accidentally chucks ball up into ceiling but still manages to win the tournament!
Fargo, ND – While professional bowler Norm Duke Jr. was competing in the Midwest Regional bowling tournament at The Bowler in Fargo, an unfortunate mishap ruined what looked to be a near-perfect game.
Perhaps because of unchecked tournament nerves, or maybe it was because his controlling mother–in–law was in the crowd watching, Norm Duke Jr. somehow chucked the ball up into the ceiling at the start of the tenth frame of his final game.
The good news is that the ball did eventually return to him so that he could go on to pick up all ten pins up for a spare and win the tournament!
The bad news is that Norm Duke Jr. had to give his entire tournament winnings to The Bowler to repair all of the damage done by his wayward sixteen pound ball.
Norm Duke Jr. on his amazing win: “If the word ‘quit’ is in your vocabulary, then the words ‘finish’ and ‘strong’ are likely not. I’m just so very glad I was able to finish strong today.”
Norm Duke Sr. on his son’s amazing win: “When things sometime seem bleak, they can always get more bleaker, or less bleaker, which was the case today, thank God!”
Bismarck, ND – In its infinite wisdom, the state of North Dakota has banned the game of Pinochle.
Based on an anonymous complaint from Mr. Simon DeFalco that some other seasoned citizens were playing Pinochle for untaxed prizes, the ND legislature unanimously passed a bill outlawing Pinochle in North Dakota.
Pinochle is an ancient card game dating back to the Greeks. Socrates taught Plato Pinochle, who in turn taught Aristotle, who in turn brought Pinochle to America on the Pinta with Columbus in 1492.
Pinochle players in North Dakota will now either have to: 1. switch to Cribbage, 2. take their Pinochle playing underground and behind curtains, or 3. travel to Minnesota, which is one of the most liberal states in the nation when it comes to playing Pinochle.
The heart-felt reaction to the new law from the president of North Dakota’s Pinochle Clubs, Mr. Diamond Spader went like this: “Well, when Pinochle is outlawed, then only outlaws will play Pinochle.”