Tag Archives: cupcake

Sign Up To Join The FMO Birthday Club For Only $100

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For a mere $100, you will enjoy all the perks of being a proud member of the FMO Birthday Club.

West Fargo, ND – Are you a person who has a birthday and who likes to have fun? Have you been looking for a way to make perfunctory birthdays more functory?

May we suggest that you join the FM Observer Birthday Club by sending us all of your personal identifying information, along with $100 for shipping and handling.

From there, the possibilities are endless!

On or near your birthday, you may receive a personal call or visit from The Pope who might even give you a free rosary, and show you different cool things you can do with it!

We may do a satirically fake-news post about you on our website and unleash it to go viral in South Dakota!

You possibly could get any number of hot pizzas delivered to your current GPS location and/or multiple singing telegrams by entire robed church choirs!

Your name might be entered into a drawing to travel with us to Goosey Goosey Island for an endless bonfire weekend where you may be taught our secret double handshake and possibly be given your very own emergency whistle.

By joining the FMO Birthday Club for only $100, you could maybe win a lifetime supply of some random items selected especially for you.

Finally, for any new and fully-paid members to the FMO Birthday Club, you will not only be invited to go to the Humane Society and select yourself a free puppy, but you will also get to name it and keep it for the rest of your lives!

FMO Considering Starting Our Own Line Of Wedding Anniversary Cards

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Getting married is a big milestone. Staying married is a major miracle!

West Fargo, ND – As promised, your FM Observer is seriously pondering coming out of the closet with our own line of wedding anniversary cards.

We’ll make our final decision whether or not to do so based on your feedback. If you like our card ideas, we’ll probably launch the venture. If you don’t like our anniversary card ideas, then we’ll launch for sure – probably even with a big launch party!

♥ Your face is still my favorite face, except for my facebook page.

♥ Every time I do our laundry I discover new things about you.

♥ Happy Anniversary, Baby! I love you more than I did a year ago.

♥ I love everything about you, except for the things that really bother me.

♥ Even though you sometimes have a funny way of showing it, I know you still love me.

♥ Here’s 2 another year of being married 2 each other: I 2 you, you 2 me, K I S S I N G :o^

♥ I know it’s been a long tough year, but hopefully it will get a lot easier…for both of us.

♥ I know some things I do really bug you, but please don’t flush me from the toilet of your heart.

♥ Except for buying a dog, marrying you was the smartest thing I have ever done in my entire life!

♥ One year ago today, you made me the happiest person on earth, and I still kind of feel the same way.

♥ God gave you to me to be my love partner. Hopefully you and God feel the same way about me for you.

♥ Since we’ve now been married for another full year, let’s celebrate by getting drunk for one full week!

♥ I’m so lucky to have you to take care of me. Thanks for putting up with me during this last long year. Sorry!

♥ I still remember the way my heart leaped when you got down on your knee and asked me to be your spousemate. Thanks!

♥ This last year has been 365 days long. I’m so glad our marriage has somehow survived each and every day…and night.

♥ I never dreamed that loving you could bring so much love into my loveless heart of hearts until (and since) we got married by love.

♥ Amazingly, after getting to know you better over this last year, you are seriously quite amazing. Jokingly, you are also very amazing.

Moorhead Couple Spends Valentine’s Evening Together In Jail After Being Arrested For Disrespecting An Officer

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Jail runs out of cupcakes on Valentine’s Day.

Moorhead, MN – Trelga and Nevron Broomstad simply wanted to go eat out at one of Moorhead’s finer restaurants on Valentine’s Day and then perhaps head back home to snuggle and maybe watch some reruns of reruns on television.

Unfortunately, on their way home, the Broomstads got pulled over by a Moorhead police officer for having a Trump/Pence bumper sticker on the back of their vehicle.

The two were quickly handcuffed and driven off in the back of an unmarked police van to spend the long night in jail for disrespecting an officer.

Their bumper-stickered car was impounded and trash-compacted into a dense cubic foot of scrap metal and then loaded onto a ship headed to China.

While sitting in separate jail cells, Trelga and Nevron Broomstad were each to be given a Valentine’s Day cupcake along with all the other inmates but there were not quite enough to go around so the two were left with no Valentine’s Day cupcakes but they were allowed to watch some reruns of reruns on the television.

Moral of the story: Select your bumper stickers wisely.