Recipes For Success

Downtown Fargo Adding Another Bar In An Attempt To Increase Crime And Number Of Drunks
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Downtown Fargo Adding Another Bar In An Attempt To Increase Crime And Number Of Drunks

May 2nd, 2018 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – As if there wasn’t already enough crime and drunks in the Downtown Fargo area, the addition of a new bar should get those social parameters up to acceptable levels. Instead of adding much-needed parking...
Fargo Flocks To Car Washes Before Return Of Dreaded Polar Vortex
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Fargo Flocks To Car Washes Before Return Of Dreaded Polar Vortex

January 9th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In a community-wide frenzied effort to get all cars washed prior to the return of Algore’s Polar Vortex, every car wash is expecting a record-breaking day. Lines into car washes could be so long that...
Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow
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Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow

September 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
Fargo Bar Fight Begins After Man Asks Another To Borrow His Toogit
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Fargo Bar Fight Begins After Man Asks Another To Borrow His Toogit

April 14th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In what could have been because of a possible misunderstanding, a bar fight broke out last night in a downtown Fargo bar after one man seemingly innocently asked a stranger if he could borrow the other...
FMO Interviews United Airlines CEO Oscar Muñoz
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FMO Interviews United Airlines CEO Oscar Muñoz

April 13th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Chicago, IL – Our on-the-spot field agent reporter in Chicago is Zurdly Zervative who just happened to file this timely interview with the CEO of United Airlines after they forcibly removed a fully paid passenger from his...
Fargo Downtowner Arrested For Repeated Dawdlings
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Fargo Downtowner Arrested For Repeated Dawdlings

March 17th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Nyork Slocco, who calls the general downtown Fargo area his home, was arrested by police for “dawdling“. “No man! You got it all wrong. I was in no way dawdling! Dallying a bit maybe, yes, but...
Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change
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Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change

August 18th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Lochte Lomond, CA – Ryan Lochte who first reported that his hair changed color after becoming infected with the Zika Virus now admits that he personally dyed his hair while drunk at a gas station bathroom in Rio. After sobering...
West Acres Mall Stolen By Man Dressed As Security Guard
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West Acres Mall Stolen By Man Dressed As Security Guard

July 29th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The West Acres Mall was allegedly “stolen” during the night but investigators on the scene are still only using the phrase “temporarily missing”. Unfortunately, police do not have the...
West Fargo Teacher Stung By A Sting Operation
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West Fargo Teacher Stung By A Sting Operation

November 24th, 2013 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND –  A young teacher at the West Fargo High Skool named Gordon Summers (age 32), was allegedly, the subject of a school-girl fantasy. She wanted him, so badly, and she knew what she wanted to be. Inside her,...