Tag Archives: bar

New Fargo Bar/Lounge Called ‘The Peachflame’ To Exclusively Cater To Weird People

Calling all weird-ohs: Welcome to The Peachflame!

Downtown Fargo, ND – A 52nd liquor license has been granted for Downtown Fargo.

Proprietor Elwood Wierschem is planning on opening The Peachflame which will specifically cater to bona fide weird-ohs.

Mr. Wierschem in his own words: “If you’re truly a weird-oh in any sense of the word, then you are welcome at The Peachflame.

“And believe you me, you will feel very comfortable sipping your weird drinks amongst all the other weird-ohs who tend to congregate in the Downtown Fargo area.”

Weirdly, all the letters in Elwood Wierschem can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Weird Ohs Welcome!

Fargo Bar Fight Begins After Man Asks Another To Borrow His Toogit

Hey buddy, do you mind if I borrow your toogit? What the hell did you just ask me?!

Fargo, ND – In what could have been because of a possible misunderstanding, a bar fight broke out last night in a downtown Fargo bar after one man seemingly innocently asked a stranger if he could borrow the other man’s toogit.

Things quickly escalated to the point where push came to shove followed by the obligatory punches to the face.

Police officers on the scene talking to eye-witnesses later determined that the whole thing started due to a simple lack of understanding regarding what is a toogit.

Misunderstanding quickly escalated to perceived disrespect followed by the obligatory pummeling all because of a toogit.

Jack Nicholson Opening A Bar In Downtown Fargo

Jack Nicholson is The Shining example of what an actor should be like.

Fargo, ND – Actor Jack of the Nicholson clan plans to open a new bar in renascent downtown Fargo called The Cuckoo’s Nest.

Not only does Jack Nicholson plan on opening a state-of-the-art bar in Fargo, but he also plans on spending a lot of time there visiting with Fargo locals who also enjoy sipping adult beverages because Jack has also just announced his intentions to permanently move to Fargo, the place of his childhood birth.

“Since I was born in Fargo at a very young age, this is from where I would like to enter heaven at a very old age,” says the actor who’s won an Oscar for three different films including One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

All females servers in The Cuckoo’s Nest will dress like Nurse Ratched and a large sign on the wall will remind patrons: “If you don’t want to take your medication orally, I’m sure we can arrange for you to have it some other way.”

FM Observer: “So just one final question for you Mr. Nicholson: What’s the main reason you want to finally retire from acting and move to Fargo and start taking it easy…just hanging out at The Cuckoo’s Nest?”

Jack Nicholson: “You want answers? You want answers? I’ll answer the question! Because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

New Downtown Fargo Bar/Restaurant To Provide Horse Stables For Its Cowboy Patrons

Buck McRoyster here gearing up his horse Trigger in Downtown Fargo’s new Lariat Bar & Horse Hotel.

Fargo, ND – With an increasing number of cowboy customers riding horseback due to Global Warming, Downtown Fargo will soon have a new restaurant/bar which will also provide an old-fashioned stables to hold your horses in comfort while the cowboys hava shot of whiskey and an Old West-style meal while their horses get fed, bathed, and groomed by friendly equinologists from the NDSU extension agency as a way of earning credits towards their degree in Horse Park Management Services.

The owner/manager of the new Lariat Bar & Restaurant & Stables is Buck McRoyster who sees his place filling a much needed niche in today’s green society.

“Yeah, like, if you are riding horse and want to stop by for a good meal and maby a bier or two, there just ain’t a lot of places you can go these daze that can accommodate a horse like my Trigger here,” Buck says.

“The Lariat should be quite popular with all the old time cowboys who still ride with pride, doyanowhatimsayn?”

Cowboy McRoyster also mentioned to us that they may eventually add a nice hotel and Massage Parlor.

Blarney Stone Pub West Fargo

New Blarney Stone In Trouble Over Public Urination

Blarney Stone Pub West FargoWest Fargo, ND – The New Blarney Stone is in trouble already after two patrons decided to whip out their ding dongs right there in the parking lot.

What they didn’t realize is that their ding dongs were in full view to all students outside at Cheney Middle School.

Tim Smith, 32, and James Blikart, 33 were arrested for urinating in public, public intoxication, and indecent exposure.

Lord knows what those kids saw.  Some won’t even talk.

But now the question remains, was it such a good idea to put a bar right across from a school full of children?  Did the city of West Fargo make a good decision on allowing this location?

Please post your thoughts below.  We hit the news hard!

Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron


It was a rainy dark night. I opened the bright bar doors.  BotInsane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patronh had a green and red neon sign on it.

I walked in and sat at the bar.  The table was sticky and smelled of stale beer.  Luckily the bar stool had a back to it considering the day I had.  I was sore.

I got the bartender’s attention and ordered a tall beer.  Took a gulp of it right away.  Boy was it good.

There was a band playing in the dimly lit corner.  A slender fellow with a harmonica in his hand.  His music was very soothing.

After watching and listening to the music for a while, seven beers and a shot later to be exact, I started to doze off.  One second I heard the harmonica off in the distance, the next I hear the sound of waves crashing.  I was at a beach god knows where.  The water was crystal clear.  I had to go into it.  I walked slowly into the ocean until the water was up to my belly button.  Getting my shorts entirely wet.

That’s when I awoke and realized I pissed myself in front of everyone.


– Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

Bar Patrons

Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

Bar PatronsWest Fargo, ND – Musky smell.  Sticky floors.  He was sitting in a dark corner only lit by the bathroom lights.

He’d been there since 1pm.  Its not a couple minutes past 12 a.m. now. Many beers later it looked like he had just started.

Jack was his name. He was dressed like a lumberjack. Burley looking fellow whose staunch shoulders held up his fancy flannel shirt.

I was gazing upon his beard looking for signs of life when he blurted out, “hey! Who! Hey you….”

I realized he was talking to me. I stood up and walked over to him as he motioned me to sit down at his lonely and dark table.

I took a seat to his right. His hair was very grey.  Looked burned, sun torched, weather beaten.

I said, “hey dude…sup brah..”

He then proceeded to vomit all over himself.  I got up and left in a haste.


— Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

Idiot Arrested After Attempted Drug Deal With Obvious Off-Duty Cop

Dumb ass immediately arrested after walk up drug sale attempt

Fargo, ND – An Otsego, MN man was arrested last night after propositioning a cocaine deal to what was quite obviously an off-duty cop. The lieutenant wore street clothes that comprised a textbook undercover cop look: huge moustache, leather jacket, slightly balding with an ice cold stare. The perpetrator allegedly approached this cop-looking fella to ask him if he wanted to purchase some “blow” from him. What kind of idiot do you have to be to try to sell cocaine to THIS guy? As soon as the Observer gets their prison interview with this dope-slinging dope from Otsego, we’ll tell you.