Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

May 4th, 2014 | by Bill Burns

Bar PatronsWest Fargo, ND – Musky smell.  Sticky floors.  He was sitting in a dark corner only lit by the bathroom lights.

He’d been there since 1pm.  Its not a couple minutes past 12 a.m. now. Many beers later it looked like he had just started.

Jack was his name. He was dressed like a lumberjack. Burley looking fellow whose staunch shoulders held up his fancy flannel shirt.

I was gazing upon his beard looking for signs of life when he blurted out, “hey! Who! Hey you….”

I realized he was talking to me. I stood up and walked over to him as he motioned me to sit down at his lonely and dark table.

I took a seat to his right. His hair was very grey.  Looked burned, sun torched, weather beaten.

I said, “hey dude…sup brah..”

He then proceeded to vomit all over himself.  I got up and left in a haste.

 

— Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron


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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.