New York, NY–A little over 5 days ’til NFL draft talking heads shut up for another year, the Observer has learned. At long last, Mel Kiper’s perfect hair and Todd McShay’s boyish charm are slated to expire at the final culmination of this year’s NFL Draft which takes place May 8th, 9th and 10th.
If you listen carefully during an NFL Live telecast, you can hear area sports fans letting out a massive, collective sigh of frustration as Kiper and McShay break down the first round of the Draft for like the 80th fucking time this week.
Seismologists predict that the moans and groans emitted from SportsCenter viewers across the nation could result in a minor earthquake between now and the end of draft weekend. That being said, Geologists are recommending you stay inside and completely ignore the incessant spouting of pundits until at least next Monday.