Amish Taking Applications For New ND Settlement

May 4th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Drive your very own Amish Cruiser.

Drive your very own Amish Cruiser.

Amishville, ND –  Have you been wishing for a simpler life? Looking to do some low-tech manual labor in a no-nonsense friendly rural setting?

The Amish Organization is opening a new settlement in North Dakota soon and is looking for some faithful new members to help grow the group.

Applicants simply need to send a humble picture of themselves along with a hand-written letter describing who they are, without ever using the words “I” and “me”.

Send your application information to Senior Elder Jakob Ammann who is most likely doing chores out at the new Amishville, North Dakota location.

New members who are invited to join are all group-baptized. They will then begin assigned humble chores, attend regular classes to learn Pennsylvania Dutch, and meet with Elders weekly to study Thee Ordnung (Amish Rules Of Order).

When ready to become full-fledged official members, there is the Feast Of The Elders.

This is a big celebration where all new members receive their Amish Membership Cards and learn the Secret Handshakes.

Then, Chief Elders declare Rumspringa, which is basically the one time everyone gets extremely drunk on potent Amish Rum. New members are encouraged to find a mate and engage in Rumspringa during this festive time.

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All new members receive a free cabin.

The following morning, new barns and cabins are quickly built and furniture making kicks into high gear by young and old alike.

Warning to new member-applicants: Any violations of the Amish Ordnung can potentially result in either (1.) being shunned by the community, or (2.) formal ex-communication from the entire settlement.

The most common reason for members being ex-communicated is unauthorized Rumspringa. If you’re lucky, you will only be shunned for a month.

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either or or :o)