Jack Nicholson is The Shining example of what an actor should be like.
Fargo, ND – Actor Jack of the Nicholson clan plans to open a new bar in renascent downtown Fargo called The Cuckoo’s Nest.
Not only does Jack Nicholson plan on opening a state-of-the-art bar in Fargo, but he also plans on spending a lot of time there visiting with Fargo locals who also enjoy sipping adult beverages because Jack has also just announced his intentions to permanently move to Fargo, the place of his childhood birth.
“Since I was born in Fargo at a very young age, this is from where I would like to enter heaven at a very old age,” says the actor who’s won an Oscar for three different films including One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.
All females servers in The Cuckoo’s Nest will dress like Nurse Ratched and a large sign on the wall will remind patrons: “If you don’t want to take your medication orally, I’m sure we can arrange for you to have it some other way.”
FM Observer: “So just one final question for you Mr. Nicholson: What’s the main reason you want to finally retire from acting and move to Fargo and start taking it easy…just hanging out at The Cuckoo’s Nest?”
Jack Nicholson: “You want answers? You want answers? I’ll answer the question! Because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
It seems to be, in order to be a successful celebrity, you must join the elite ranks of other celebrities and start claiming nations. You are not considered a gifted celebrity unless you do so and you are certainly not part of the ‘special club.’
Sean Penn has claimed Haiti. Ben Afflek has since claimed the Congo. Angelina scoops up and claims any UN mission areas. Leonardo DiCaprio has claimed Mozambique. Madonna has claimed Malawi.
Just recently there was one of those high-roller poker games and they all put the various causes in a hat and each elite actor picked one. Sean Penn was pissed and tried to trade Haiti for Thailand but the group voted no.
Brad Pitt, Angelia Jolie, and Sean Penn have have been in a ruffle and tuffle as of late. Sean Penn looks to claim all land including oceans outside of the United States. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sees this as Penn intruding on their territory and would not want to have to pay Penn a ‘finders fee’ for any child they may adopt in the future.
A phone call to Penn has gone unanswered but we believe the dispute has not been resolved as of yet.