Recipes For Success

Lottery Winner On Way To Collect Jackpot Killed By Distracted Driver
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Lottery Winner On Way To Collect Jackpot Killed By Distracted Driver

June 21st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – Ty Barich was excitedly on his way to collect his jackpot millions after repeatedly checking his winning lottery ticket with his pregnant wife. While crossing the street en route to the lottery headquarters,...
New Detention Centers Being Built Just For Distracted Drivers
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New Detention Centers Being Built Just For Distracted Drivers

June 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – With the huge surge in accidents caused by distracted drivers, lawmakers are responding with a draconian strengthening of punishments for those who choose to endanger others with their irresponsible...
Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change
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Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change

August 18th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Lochte Lomond, CA – Ryan Lochte who first reported that his hair changed color after becoming infected with the Zika Virus now admits that he personally dyed his hair while drunk at a gas station bathroom in Rio. After sobering...
New Pizza Business To Specialize In Deliveries To Jails And Prisons
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New Pizza Business To Specialize In Deliveries To Jails And Prisons

July 1st, 2016 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – A new pizza delivery company will soon be unlocking its doors in North Dakota. Prison Pizza Pros will specialize in hot deliveries to those who find themselves behind bars. All pizzas shall be of the...
Local Art Show To Help Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund
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Local Art Show To Help Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund

August 23rd, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A new local Fargo art gallery (YOGART Gallery) is having a special art show (Help Hillary Now!) to help raise money for Hillary’s Clinton’s Legal Defense Fund. Facing a possibly long stay in prison...
Fargo Starts New Program To Help Juveniles Avoid Jail
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Fargo Starts New Program To Help Juveniles Avoid Jail

March 29th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – With the upwardly mobile trend of crime in Fargo due to Global Fracking, a new program is being started to dissuade area youth from landing themselves in jail and prison. The program is called Incarcerational...
Critics Argue Federal Prisons Too Comfortable
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Critics Argue Federal Prisons Too Comfortable

April 27th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fedhaven, FL – The Federal Bureau of Prisons is under fire for making some of their newest prisons “too comfortable”. A few congressional critics are wondering how the so-called “country club...
Man Sentenced To 75 Years In Prison For Stealing Neighbors Cow
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Man Sentenced To 75 Years In Prison For Stealing Neighbors Cow

February 5th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
Maza, ND – A man was sentenced to 75 years in prison this past Wednesday for stealing his neighbors cow. Jim Benson, a local dairy farmer (whom Bill Burns worked for before joining the FM Observer), was arrested last week...
Aaron Hernandez Madden Cover
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Aaron Hernandez Madden Cover

July 2nd, 2013 | by Bill Burns
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Ban On Human Assault Weapons
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Ban On Human Assault Weapons

April 12th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
  Due to the large number of incidents involving human beings using weapons to kill other human beings there will now be a ban on being a human being. The state department released a report to Congress recommending a...