Fargo, ND – A chronic shoplifter who recently was caught stealing twenty items from the West Acres Mall has been given an unusual sentence for her crime.
A creative judge has handed Hope Flirts a punishment of twenty consecutive years of confinement in the West Acres Mall.
Hope in her own words: “Well, what the hell? Quite frankly, I would rather spend twenty years in a normal prison than be stuck in the fricking West Acres Mall for twenty fracking years! Do you know what I’m saying?”
Ms. Flirts who is now 45 years old will not be allowed to physically leave the West Acres Mall until she is ready to retire at the ripe old age of 65.
If she is caught stealing just one item during the next 20 years, she will then be invited to finish out the remainder of her sentence at Alcatraz.
Ironically, all the letters in Hope Flirts can be re-arranged to spell: Shoplifter!