Tag Archives: clinton

During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump

I love the Donald. I am voting for the Donald and you should too!

I love the Donald! I am voting for Donald Trump and you should too!

Clintonia, USA – While ostensibly suffering from another moment of dazed confusion, Hillary’s Clinton announced she is voting for Donald Trump for president.

After her army of aides and handlers tried to negate her pronouncement, she doubled down by also encouraging others to follow her lead and vote for The Donald.

Reporters quickly tried to change the subject by asking questions about other topics such as “Hillary, what’s your favorite pizza topping?” but Hillary seemed laser focused on the fact that she wanted to vote for the Trumpster.

Daughter Chelsea blamed her mother’s apparent lapse of judgment on the pneumonia medication she has been taking ever since she just barely stumbled into that black ambulance.

President Obama blamed George W. Bush for Hillary’s problems and then went golfing.

Bill Clinton was unavailable for comment about Hillary’s confused state of mind as he was off in a corner talking to some young female reporters about women’s rights issues.

President Clinton To Hit Some Fargo Hot Spots

I love Fargo! South Dakota is one of my favorite states.

I love Fargo! South Dakota is one of my favorite states.

Fargo, ND – President Bill Clinton somehow ended up in Fargo, North Dakota to try and drum up support for his wife’s floundering presidential campaign.

Bubba’s speaking engagement will take place in the basement of the Northern Gentlemen’s Club near famous downtown Fargo.

Clinton, who was president from 1993-2001, is expected to talk about why his wife would be the best candidate to grow government, decrease our military, and increase our national debt.

Hillary has indicated that she is considering putting Bill in charge of revitalizing the economy and also selecting and “over-seeing” all the interns who will be working at the White House during her administration.

He will also be pushing for support of his new pet program called Respect All People Equally (or RAPE, for short).

President Clinton, who was impeached in late 1998 for perjury and obstruction of justice, stopped at a local Fargo ice cream shoppe and ordered a double scoop of his two favorite flavors: Peach-Mint.

Hillary Clinton Recruiting Tech Students To Host Her Email Server

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Presumptive President Clinton ponders potential political possibilities.

Washington, DC – As the presumptive president Hillary Rodham Clinton proactively prepares to move back into the White House along with her husband Bill and his concubine Monica Lewinsky, the former Secretary of State is seeking the services of some smart, young, tech-minded students to securely store her email server in their broom closet so classified information does not fall into the hands of international hackers, or even worse, the Republicans.

The smartest woman in the world has shown a penchant in the past for using a non-government, privately maintained server when conducting official classified government business instead of one that is maintained on supposedly secure federal government servers even though her use of private messaging system software and a private server violated government procedures and federal regulations governing record keeping requirements, only because Hillary is so smart and feels she can do the job of keeping classified emails safe and private better than some federal flunkies who don’t really know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to top-secret information.

As president, Hillary wants to make sure she maintains the high security standards she set for herself while Secretary of State so she can focus all her energy on making the rich (like John Kerry) pay their fair share, rather than wasting her time testifying under oath as to how her classified emails were or were not allegedly hacked by the vast right wing conspiracy.

Local Art Show To Help Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund

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Local artist Amsterdam Douglass is donating his ‘Pink Daisy’ painting to help Hillary get elected from prison.

Fargo, ND – A new local Fargo art gallery (YOGART Gallery) is having a special art show (Help Hillary Now!) to help raise money for Hillary’s Clinton’s Legal Defense Fund.

Facing a possibly long stay in prison (15 years) for breaking multiple federal laws, Hillary (The Pillary) is going to need a lot of money to not only pay all the expected legal fees but also for needed protection in prison (by Secret Server Agents).

Fargo artist Amsterdam Douglass: “I am donating my ‘Pink Daisy’ painting (worth an estimated $100,000 on eBay) to help get the ball rolling toward being proactively raising funds to help what could be our first-ever female US president to be elected and serve as president, all from the comfortable confines of prison.