Lucky to have won the lottery jackpot but then unlucky to have gotten hit by a distracted driver.
Bismarck, ND – Ty Barich was excitedly on his way to collect his jackpot millions after repeatedly checking his winning lottery ticket with his pregnant wife.
While crossing the street en route to the lottery headquarters, Mr. Barich got hit by a distracted driver who decided it was more important to text “LOL” to his friend rather than stop at a red light and look for any pedestrians crossing the street on a green light.
Now, because a dummkopf distracted driver thinking that texting a short quick message on his smartphone was more important than paying attention to being in control of his moving motorized vehicle, another innocent person’s life is unncessarily altered or even taken away from them and their family.
The North Dakota legislature is now considering increasing the penalty for distracted driving to either life behind bars (with no access to a smartphone) or quickly being put in front of a firing squad composed of people who have been negatively affected by a distracted driver.
Ironically, all of the letters in “Ty Barich” can be re-arranged to spell:Hit by car!
Welcome to our new Detention Facility where you can think long and hard about your distracted driving.
Bismarck, ND – With the huge surge in accidents caused by distracted drivers, lawmakers are responding with a draconian strengthening of punishments for those who choose to endanger others with their irresponsible negligence while behind the wheel of a vehicle.
The new Blacktomb Holding Center will house Level One first-time minor violators who will lose their driver’s licenses for one year while doing community service at either an autobody shop or a hospital, whichever one they hate most.
Level Two violators will be personally escorted to the new Rockwood Correctional Facility where they can do manual labor during the day for five years and spend the evenings watching videos of actual fatal crashes caused by distracted drivers.
Finally, for the Level Three felons who have caused horrific damage, they will have ten years to think about their bad behavior at the new Firevault Max Security Prison where they will be lucky to see the light of day or their families for the next ten years of pure hellaciousness.
Hawley, MN – Just imagine you’re completely stopped at a red light and a distracted driver (who later claims he didn’t see you) rear-ends your vehicle at 50 mph without ever even slamming on the brakes.
This is happening more and more to more and more people every day.
The time to end distracted driving is now.
A new anti-distracted driver group calling itself B.A.D.D. (Berate All Distracted Drivers) is encouraging everyone who sees any sort of distracted driver to honk your frickin’ horn long and loud at distracted drivers in order to 1. wake them out of their stupor, 2. scold them for putting anything else as higher priority than driving, and 3. hopefully avoid them ramming into you or the person in front of them, or flattening a child running out onto the street unexpectedly.
A vehicle traveling at 50 mph is moving at 75 feet per second and if a distracted driver happens to be behind the wheel, that vehicle may as well be driven by a blind-folded drunk monkey.
As I was driving around in my car today it came to my attention that the cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead hate everyone and want to punish you with potholes to death.
Why they would want to punish us or my car is confusing. They want people to leave the state even faster? My car didn’t do anything to any of these cities so why the hate? That is the question everyone needs answered.
Every street I drove on and I mean EVERY SINGLE STREET, there were potholes everywhere that wanted to kick me and my car’s ass. Below is what I literally felt like driving around town.
Every turn, every lane, there was disaster waiting for me. “Alright I’m going to be smart about this and get into another lane. Dang…gotta turn here, ahhh dammit! Pothole right after the turn. There goes my strut! Better get into the other lane. Ahhh dammit! Didn’t see that pothole because the car in front of me. There goes my tire! Going to pass this car here to get away from the po….dammit! Another pothole in between lanes! There goes my entire underside! I’m going to just close my eyes the rest of the way home.” Any bump or crash will just be another pothole I told myself.
I finally arrived home with a mangled car that resembled nothing of its former self and I have the cities of West Fargo, Fargo, and Moorhead to thank.