Tag Archives: potholes

Court Artist Accused Of Drawing-Under-The-Influence At Cohen/Daniels Court Hearing

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Most agree that this court artist must’ve been under the influence of drugs, but you can draw your own conclusions.

New York, NY – The artist chosen to do sketches at the Stormy Daniels/Michael Cohen court hearing has been accused of DUI (Drawing Under The Influence).

Just as many famous artists have successfully used drugs to embellish or enhance their work, federal court artists are not supposed to share that same luxury.

The artist in question is named Audi Ritts, who normally produces decently recognizable sketches.

But when Judge Kimba Wood asked Mr. Ritts to try and draw a straight line, it was obvious that Audi had been perhaps using the pot, or something of that nature.

In light of this stunning development, the Judge declared a misdrawing, and therefore, the hearing will have to be re-sketched.

Interestingly, all of the letters in Audi Ritts can be redrawn to spell: DUI Artist!

Psychic Predicts Large Number Of Fargo Sinkholes To Appear In The Coming Months

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Psymon Soothsayer says: “This is the first of many chasms to come.”

Fargo, ND – A well-known psychic has predicted that Fargo will soon be riddled with many good-sized sinkholes.

Psymon Soothsayer recently went on the record with the FMObserver and prognosticated that “numerous sinkholes will soon be forthcoming in and around Fargo, with the first one to manifest itself just north of the West Acres area.”

Now that it’s happened (at the intersection of 9th Avenue South and 42nd Street), city officials are giving Psymon Soothsayer’s sinkhole prediction much more credibility.

Psome of Psymon’s other recent predictions that have turned out to be correct include:

> The Minnesota Twins would have a dismal year.
> Donald Trump would become the presumptive GOP nominee.
> Prince would unexpectedly expire without a will.
> The Rio Olympics would be moved to Zanzibar due to The Zika.

If you discover a new sinkhole in the Fargo area, please report it to the Fargo Sinkhole Hotline: 1-800-SINKHOLE.

If you end up down inside a sinkhole, it’s probably best to call 9-1-1!

Fargo Potholes

The Cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead All Hate You

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Fix itAs I was driving around in my car today it came to my attention that the cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead hate everyone and want to punish you with potholes to death.

Why they would want to punish us or my car is confusing.  They want people to leave the state even faster?  My car didn’t do anything to any of these cities so why the hate?  That is the question everyone needs answered.

Every street I drove on and I mean EVERY SINGLE STREET, there were potholes everywhere that wanted to kick me and my car’s ass.  Below is what I literally felt like driving around town.

 

Every turn, every lane, there was disaster waiting for me.  “Alright I’m going to be smart about this and get into another lane.  Dang…gotta turn here, ahhh dammit!  Pothole right after the turn.  There goes my strut!  Better get into the other lane.  Ahhh dammit!  Didn’t see that pothole because the car in front of me.  There goes my tire!  Going to pass this car here to get away from the po….dammit!  Another pothole in between lanes!  There goes my entire underside!  I’m going to just close my eyes the rest of the way home.”  Any bump or crash will just be another pothole I told myself.

I finally arrived home with a mangled car that resembled nothing of its former self and I have the cities of West Fargo, Fargo, and Moorhead to thank.

Please, do me a favor and visit http://pothole.streets.cityoffargo.com/ and literally just report the entire city.  As you can see below, I went ahead and submitted a pothole.

Submit a pothole Fargo

Submit a pothole Fargo

I’ll sit right here and await their reply.